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female
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anonymous
writes: I’ve met a guy who I think is wonderful. In fact, I would go as far as to say he is ‘the one’ - trouble is, I am extremely shy. I find it really difficult initiating and continuing conversations with people generally, but in particular to people I am interested in. I do open up to people but it just takes me longer than other people. When this guy initiates the conversation I am OK and indeed once I get to know him, I know he would see the warm, friendly, gentle and caring person that people tell me I am. I just don’t know how to project it to this guy. I am so worried that this great guy is going to think I’m not interested and just give up on me - I wouldn’t blame him if he did. He told my father that he doesn’t have a girlfriend and that he doesn’t like being alone (was that a hint via my father or am I reading too much into that?) I know I am coming across to him as extremely cold. He’s not the type who likes full-on people so how do I show him I like him, also bearing in mind how shy I am?!?! This shyness is destroying my big chance at love...
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female
reader, Mirabell +, writes (6 December 2005):
 You need to hang out with him in group situations. With all of your friends, etc. Also, a venue with some distractions always takes the heat off and makes it so you don't have to be outgoing. Suggest an outing to the zoo (having a kid with you will help, if you babysit) or the movies. Museums, concerts, and volunteer work are also distracting enough that you shouldn't have to be talking the whole time. People learn more about you through what you do than what you say. Make him feel good about himself, and make him feel like he cant tell you anything (don't be judgmental,etc.) Just let him be around you for a while. He will come around.
A
female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (6 December 2005):
 The key to this is to just be yourself and all those wonderful endearing qualities you posess, will naturally come to the fore, revealing the lovely person that you are.Just stay calm and relaxed, build a friendship with him first, perhaps it will lead to a relationship from there.Dont let your shyness be the reason for you missing out.And yes, that was a very direct hint he sent, via your father, and a very brave guy he must be as well, he sounds very sweet.I wish you success and much happiness, you know you have it in you, so go and be YOURSELF... Take Care.
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