A
female
age
26-29,
*ux55
writes:So ive been with my boyfriend a year and 2 months now. I recently found out he was lying about having a Facebook, I never cared he had one in the first place because I trusted him. So I'm on my moms Facebook and I see he still had it when he told me a month ago he deactivated it. I text him calling him a liar and he replies "what is this about? Is it because you think I still have a Facebook?" So boom off the bat he knows he's lying and tries to continue to lie. So I go back to look at his Facebook and it's magically gone! So I know he deactivated while at work. Then he comes home and he lies to my face saying he doesn't have it so I tell him stop lying I seen it and you deactivated it at work so open it up and go into it so I can see what you're hiding. Then he tells me he forgot his username and password. Ha by this point I am pissed, then he magically remembers it! So I get on it and he has all these messages to girls saying hi and giving his name and saying he can take them on adventures and pull them. Then I started typing and he grabbed the computer away and got really defensive over it. I left and went back the next day when he was at work and opened up his email, he is also messaging porn sites sending them pictures in his boxers applying for "blowbang" positions saying he's interested. Then messaging another porn administrator or something and sending them penis pictures then another one with a full face and asking when the "shoots" are available. Then he says he can't make it but he's ready for another one. I asked him if he ever went and he told me no. Idk what to believe. I need help should I leave him or stay. I'm so in love with him but after this i don't think I know who he is and I don't think I can ever forgive him. Every time I think about his Facebook and email I can't help but cry.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 January 2017):
 I know that this is difficult because you love him, and believe me I understand how you feel because I have been through it myself. You need to ask yourself does he love you when he is messaging other people and sending photos? If he is capable of that, then you can be sure he is capable off physically cheating on you as well. So therefore you need to ask yourself if you can be with someone who you cannot trust? Because the trust is gone now, and I am sure however hard you work at the relationship you will always have trust issues, am sure you deserve better than that. I know it seems difficult but you deserve to be with someone who does not treat you like this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2017): Your dignity and well-being demands that you leave him now. He's not trustworthy and therefore, does not deserve your trust. He's also young and immature and is not going to change until he grows up, and maybe even not then. Don't waste another day on him. You're young so get out there and live your life. You've got plenty of time to explore and have fun. Eventually you'll find someone who deserves your love, respect and trust, someone who will value what you have to offer.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 January 2017):
 You know he will lie RIGHT to your face. So you have NO idea whether he has met up and done whatever with random strangers sexually. You might never know.
So off YOU go get an STD panel done ASAP
And IF this looking for sex on FB is a deal-breaker for you - then END it. PUT and end to it. Why live in fear of what he might be up to? Whether you can trust him? Whether he will bring home STD's to you?
You are 18-21 - you have your WHOLE life ahead of you so WHY settle for a guy who lies so he can DICK around?
And the fact that you FEEL the right to GO THGOUHG his personal e-mail so you can check up on him... YES, you found bad crap but that doesn't justify invading his privacy. NOT THAT I blame you, really. BUT the thing is if you are at a point on your relationship WHERE this (invading his privacy) becomes the "norm" then there IS no trust or respect.
YOU (as a GF, partner, wife, whatever) should NOT have to go through your BF's computer or phone to "keep" him in line. A BF should know what is appropriate and NOT appropriate in a relationship. And THIS? NOT APPROPRIATE!
Neither posting naked photos, looking for sex partners nor looking through all his things to get confirmation that he IS a liar. It's just not healthy.
You CAN love someone and NOT be with them. They can be amazing but a CRAPPY match. Your BF sounds immature and selfish. He may not REALLY be ready to be a good BF and staying with him will NOT make him grow up. YOU CAN NOT make him into the BF you WANT or think he can BE by loving him.
YOU have to LOVE yourself first here. And YOU have to decide if this is OK at ANY levels or not, and then act accordingly.
You know he isn't going to stop doing this, he will just be BETTER at hiding it.
He isn't even remorseful, just pissed off that he got caught and that you don't believe his lies.
Sorry, OP I think you are wasting your time on a guy who isn't READY for the WORK, RESPONSIBILITY and RESPECT it takes to be in a relationship.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (14 January 2017):
 You were in love with the person you thought he was, not who he turned out to be. How recent is this stuff? Has he put it behind him since he has been with you? If so he deserves a chance.
However I would say no more FaceBook messaging to other girls.He shouldn't need to if he has you.
If on the other hand he has been advertising for blowjobs while he was with you, then I would say the highway beckons for this one. Let him get his kicks on the net.
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