A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Like many others, I am in total love with a man in which i work with. He has a child who is disabled and a wife. When i'm with him, it's like a dream! I feel guilty to ask him for more time with him because of his child, who needs alot of care and time. I hate feeling this way. I feel like i'm neglected, but at the same time, how can i ever feel this way. I never ask him to put me first because i know he has responsibilities. i guess i just need more attention than what he can give me, and it's so hard! He says he can't leave for financial reasons and because of his daughter and i totally understand. I have never asked him to leave. I would feel like a homewrecker! He says if he ever gets the opportunity, he will but i dont expect it. i feel like i dont wanna date or see anyone else because i love him, but i know i'm just wasting my precious youth and that this relationship can't go any further. it makes me crazy. i know what i have to do, and i've tried before to let him go and we somehow ended back together. please give advice on how i can end this once and for all. i dont wanna hurt him because he is in love with me too and he says i am his hope. he feels stuck in his life and i give him a reason to hold on, he says i am his sunshine. in love and don't know how to handle this!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): I know what you are feeling seems real to you but the truth is that his obligation to his daughter and wife is so strong in him that he must follow that. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and his need to fulfill this obligation. Inside he is hurting and longing for more but that is his ordeal. You unfortunately for you are a blessed occurance in his otherwise not so nice life. As long as you want to offer this service - do it. The moment that you can no longer do that for him, don't. You are just a beautiful thing passing through. And while it may hurt for you to move on when you are ready, you will move on and you will find more ... he will not. Give what you feel is appropriate and then when you cannot give anymore understand that is OK too and while it hurts... move on. Life is complex and a series of experiences... you need to make sure that you experience joy if you can. He cannot. That is sad but does not mean that you too cannot.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): Who gives you the right to be with some one elses husband? Don't you realise that their marriage is their business to sort out. DON'T get involved everyone will get hurt esp his wife and child. Stop it your not his sunshine you are a body to sleep with before he goes home to his wife (that must make you feel special). She has a child who needs help and so she is probably tired so he gets his kicks elsewhere. Have some respect for yourself and stop now and don't be so selfish. Get your own life
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 August 2007):
 You are a home-wrecker whether he's still with his wife or not. He will never leave his wife and he doesn't want to either. He wants to have you at his beck and call whenever he needs some "sunshine" or whatever crap he's slinging. Tell him to take a hike and mean it this time. You won't be breaking his heart he will just have to find another bit on the side. A very bad decision to mess with someone's marriage, learn from it and don't do it again.
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