A
female
age
30-35,
*eyna
writes:I few days ago i posted a question and i got really good advices, so im here again to see if i have the same luck.I left my boyfriend of 4 years about 2 weeks ago because i found out about a relationship that he had with someone form Seattle a while back(which i met from some pictures) and also about a girl that he had been talking to(which i havent seen in my life,luckily) and i was feeling pretty sad, but, thanks to the help of some people here, i decide to go out and do a lot to get my mind off him, and it is really working, but another problem has come out.I started to notice yesterday that im having bitter feelings towards the girl from Seattle who i dont even know in person, i saw her on his facebook, and i got so obssess about wanting to know everything about her, i even got her twitter page and went on it to see what she was doing, and that is not all, everytime i hear the name Jodi or something related to Seattle i get so angry and sad, im starting to hate everything that has to do with her.I know it sounds very sad and stalker-ish, and i promise i wont do any harm to her, but i just feel so curious about her, but at the same time i dislike her so much, but she seems so nice, but i feel so insecure next to her, as if she was better than me, i dont know why.What can i do to stop this? Have any of you gone through any of this, i feel like im inflicting pain to myself everytime i see something about her, but i dont know why im so curious about it.Please,help me get over this weird feelings, i think if i continue to do this i will get depressed, just help me get over this issue, any advice will be helpful...Thanks for reading
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female
reader, Reyna +, writes (26 May 2009):
Reyna is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks so much for this advices, a few weeks have gone by and i am not trying to get information about her anymore.
A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (9 May 2009):
 Hi there,
This is completely normal. When my husband left me for another woman I became completely obsessed about finding everything out about her. I think the feelings go through stages. Initially you are very angry (infact furious) and want to know everything about this other person, you then start to hate them and hold them responsible for everything. At the same time when your own life begins to pick up your feelings about this other person become less intense and you lose interest. I too would look at this woman on facebook, her company website etc and I kept comparing her to me. It has been only 2 weeks for you and ofcourse you are still interested and want to know more. As long as you don't do anything or call her or turn up on her door step it is quite normal to be more than interested. Once a bit of time has gone by and the void in your life has been filled by someone else she will not even enter your head! And that is the truth!! Good Luck xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): I think what you are feeling is completely normal. To be curious of this girl is natural, and to feel angry towards her is understandable.
I know it must be hard, but I think you need to keep on going with what you have been doing. You said that you have been doing things to get your ex off your mind, and that is great. You are doing really well, whether it seems that way to you or not. So keep ploughing on.
If you can, I would try not to keep finding out about this girl. You are obviously comparing yourself unfavourably next to her, and seeing all of the ways in which she is somehow "better" than you. But it isn't true. She isn't better than you, just different I suppose. Just becuse your ex went with this girl, it doesn't mean that you are not as goos as her. You were probably just not compatible and suited to each other.
Try and keep your mind occupied, and do things to feel good about yourself. Don't get yourself down over this, you will pull through. Keep being strong. xx
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