A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf took a purity pledge when he was 17 and in a youth group.But he hasnt gone to church since then. We are now 24 and he still wont have sex. We do oral with each other, and he uses toys on me but wont have sex, even though we talk about getting married all the time. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): Your boyfriend obviousley has deep spiritual convictions. But he is only fooling himself if he thinks that he is maintaining his purity by not doing the actual act of intercourse. Its samantics, like saying I vow not to eat something and then grinding it up in a blender and drinking it. The only one he is fooling is himself. You obviousley do not share his spiritual convictions and this can lead to a mess later down the road. This guy knows that he is ultimately going to surrender his life back to God one day. He still beleives what is deeply rooted inside him but is temporarily running from God. He knows that when he starts a family or somewhere down the road, he will give his life back to Jesus and live the life he beleives is right. If you don't beleive me just ask him. Tell him to stop living in denial and being a hipocrite. Running from what someone knows is right only makes them miserable. He knows he can not be happy til he stops living against his convictions. Where will you fit into that picture when he realizes what he has to do? I say you both start going to church and focus on God and not each other to clear your minds. Tell him to make up his mind, be hot or cold. But lukewarm never works for anyone.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (9 May 2009):
 Purity vows are strange things. Not qualifying oral sex as sex is also a strange thing. It even has 'sex' in the name. Odd.
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A
female
reader, pebble  +, writes (9 May 2009):
 There's no question here...
If the guy doesn't want to have sex, you might just have to get over it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): Some people can be a little strange can't they? Many thanks for sharing that with us!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): Well...i dont know if your christian or what not but well sex is somthing that should be there because well your just human but if he doesent want to have sex then thats it. If you left him for sex you would be throwing away such a beautiful thing that you have just cause you wanted a fling. I would kill to be like that guy and not the horny little bastard i am. The day you guys do get married if you do well...then your gonna have the ride of your life. Just look at what you have and see that no sex is so insignifigant compared to how great this guy is
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