A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started college last year and I met this guy on the floor below and we started messing around. At first i didn't give much thought to it but it grew into a relationship and i fell hard for him. A few months after we made it official he cheated on me with a good "friend" during a weekend i came back home. I was heartbroken (he was my first love) i had so many mixed emotions sadness, anger, the want for revenge. He didn't give up and kept pursuing me none stop. I eventually figured i should give him a second chance. It was pretty rocky since then but none the less we knew we loved each other and were willing to make it work. During the summer i began talking to my ex we met up and ended up sleeping together twice. I still don't understand why i did it but i decided to keep it to myself because i knew i would lose my guy for sure. We still continued to have our ups and downs. Recently someone let me know that he was at a party and that one of my "friends" was getting too close too him.. According to all the girls, they went into the bathroom and didn't come out for awhile although everyone was banging on the door. I confronted both of them the next day and even had him text her while i was with him. She said they had sex, he said she followed him into the bathroom and began trying to kiss him, then when he text her at first she said they had sex and then sent him another text saying nothing happened that they made out. Out of anger i screamed that i was so glad i had cheated on him.I don't know what to do. He's been telling me he doesn't know what to do about us. I don't know if i wanna keep going with it though. I'm really confused about my feelings at times i feel like i love him and I'm willing to kiss butt to get him back. Other times i feel like there's nothing left for us. Then there's still the fact that he might have also cheated on me??? (I know I'm a terrible person)
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female
reader, Elydiese  +, writes (19 June 2010):
I want to stick up for you but you cheated on him as well so that makes you as bad as him. I think you should end it and be with someone you really want to be with and not have a relationship where there is cheating on both sides
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): I don't think you are a terrible person. It must have been a difficult and confusing situation. Do you still have feelings for your ex? Do you think that could be why you slept with him? Or maybe, deep down, you still felt angry and resentful towards your boyfriend for cheating on you, and you were unconsciously trying to feel better about it by sleeping with someone else? Just some thoughts.
The relationship does sound very rocky, and there seems to be little trust left, which is understandable. I don't think this guy is honest with you, it sounds to me like he is someone who will continue to cheat on you. And you don't deserve that. There also seem to be a lot of strong negative feelings which have built up.
If you still have feelings for your ex, then I think it might be best to end the relationship until you have sorted your feelings out, or moved on a bit more. But if you don't, then if the relationship is to work I think you and your boyfriend need to try and talk honestly about what has happened and how you both feel. And then agree to try and move on from here. Start again. But it will require honesty and trust. And if he gives you any more signs that he is cheating again...I would end it.
Please don't allow him, or yourself for that matter, make you feel really bad about yourself. He has made mistakes too and has been far from perfect! So if things don't work out, or if you decide to walk away, don't blame yourself. It takes two to make a relationship work. This seems like a very turbulent relationship, and you are doing the best you can. So please don't think you are a terrible person. You really aren't. I hope this helps, take care. x
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A
female
reader, confused1126  +, writes (19 June 2010):
dump his ass, he's not worth it. . he was given a second chance for a reason and he messed it up, find someone who wont do that to you. youll be much happier when you realise your better off without himtrust me, iv been through it all and the person who broke my heart was the reason i met my partner now :) so in a way i kind of thank him for it
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