A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a virgin in my twenties.I was suffering from anxiety for an year or so. This was due to working continually for night shifts in my job.I could not get out of it.My health had gone down.I remained away from friends and work. I am close to my mom and discussed with her and doctors. The outcome from the discussion was that If may be I go for marriage or some continual relation with a girl could lift the depression. But the condition I was in I had lost intrest in girls too. My Mom knew that and she was depressed also. She cant see me depressed any more. She was depressed too. One day when I was feeling anxious and depressed, she held my private part and touched it to her lower body(private) region . I dont know what came to her mind. But That particular thing made me feel odd at that time. Then I went for an outing to a hill station but that thought is making me feel odd, anxious all the time.I cant stay happy and relaxed.I am in some form of burden or u can say unusual guilt about it. I have got a new job now but the second thought make me anxious all the time. I could not work.I havent had sex with anybody till now,should having sex with someone solve it. The burden of that thought is not allowing me to make a relatonship with a girl freely.If she asks what is upsetting me what should I tell her? Any girl friend should be concerned about what is upsetting her boyfriend.What should I do. Is getting rid of it a big deal.. Please help..
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
What your mum did was very wrong indeed it has added to your depression, Im not supprised your feeling odd hunny, You will have to speak to your mum and explain to her this has made you feel very uncomfortable, Your depression was quite normal working night shifts can affect your life considerably as you dont get a social life so you dont get to go out and meet your friends and its hard to find a girlfriend. You have nothing to feel guilty about you did nothing wrong but I understand why you may feel a burden, This is why you must speak with your mum so that burden is lifted. You will find another job love and I suggest you slowly start to get some sort of social life back, Phone a friend and start going out again, There is nothing wrong with being a virgin nothing to be ashamed about at all you will meet a girl at some point and that will happen all in good time hunny, Talk with your mum tell her how this made you feel, Start going out again and your depression and this burden will lift, If you find this depression is still there go to your doctor and get some help love. good luck to you WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Your mum shouldn't of done this to you, you need to speak to her and tell you didn't like it and not to do anything like that again.
being a virgin and having sex is not a huge deal, when you meet the right person it will happen.
Your putting way to much pressure on yourself to have sex and you need to be more relaxed about it, this may be causing a huge amount of your depression.
I would go back to the doctors on your own and tell them exactly what you have said here. Then you need to get a job and stick with it, go out with your friends and stop worrying so much about getting a girl friend and having sex, when it's meant to happen it will do. Relax.
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