A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please help me! I am very confused right now and just don't know what to do, so I'm hoping you can read this and give me some advice or just some support sort of thing...Well basically I have a guy best friend and me and him and my other best friend (who is a girl) are all best friends. We are very close but they occasionally argue. They recently sorted everything out between them and now they are both happy. The thing is, me and the guy have known each other for nearly a year and have always liked each other as more than friends. He hasn't stopped liking me, even though I haven't wanted a boyfriend and we used to keep switching from trying to just be friends to being more than friends. But the problem was that the girl was always stuck in the middle of me and him when me and him were confused about what to do (and that's part of what made them argue a lot) and so me and him decided that we would just stay friends in order to make it easier for everyone. Not surprisingly, this didn't last very long... me and him still like each other (but she doesn't know yet, well not officially anyway - she's probably guessed though). The other day he said that we should start going out and be boyfriend and girlfriend. He knows I don't want a boyfriend and that I'm too scared to tell my other best friend that it's all happening again, etc etc but he didn't really seem to care (probably because this has been going on for so long). He knows that I'm not too happy though because I always freak out when he says we're going out (even though I was hardly consulted with this at all), in fact I would say that i have a 'fear' of boyfriends! I've been hurt in the past and I really just don't want a boyfriend. And now he's saying that he's going to tell my other best friend that me and him still like each other. I know that she should know, but he doesn't seem to understand that I could lose her as a friend and she is going to be upset again (me and her are a lot closer than him and her) and I wanted to wait a bit to tell her, but he wants to tell her really soon. The thing is that now I'm starting to see a different side of him (controlling and selfish, etc) and the fact that I already don't even want a boyfriend doesn't help with the fact that I don't want it to be official. The reason that I haven't said anything to him yet (about not wanting to go out with him) is that over the past year me and him and been on and off (and it's mostly my fault, because I end up getting confused) and now I just want to forget everything and just be friends (even though that probably won't last long!) Ahhh I'm so confused and don't want to lose either of them as a friend. I also don't want to make this anymore complicated than it already is. I'm thinking that maybe after he tells her, that I should tell her absolutely everything and how he just suddenly decided that we were going out and that I don't actually want to be his girlfriend anymore. But to be honest, I won't blame her if she gets really fed up and ends up not wanting to be my friend anymore.Sorry for writing a lot, please help me if you can...xx
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