A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, im very confused....im just gonna show you all exactly the messages i have received today, but let me tell you all this.... first....things have been fine between me and my boyfriend (me 26 him 23, atleast i thought they were....weve spent a lovely past few months together. On friday we were so looking forward to a meal together, but we ended meeting my friends first and we had lots of red wine. Next thing were out at dinner, and i apparently started being a bitch. Fair enough, no excuse the drink, but i cant remember anything to be honest. i remember going to the loo after dinner to find my boyfriend gone, and a text message saying 'sick of your shit see you at home', i however went to a club i knew hed be in and hung around him, apparently we were ok at the end of the night as we spent ages together trying to get into my friends house - with a set of keys!Ive returned the keys to the club but we for some reason thought they were for my friends place. bit too drunk and very stupid. Next day, were fine, get a takeaway, boyfriend says 'babe we should do this every saturday' so things were good. Sunday, he was acting a bit odd. i put my arm on him during our movie and he pushed it off saying he didnt want my arm on him - which was weird.Monday, hes still acting odd. i decide to go do some stuff with my mate... i texted him a few times on monday, one asking if he needed anything from town, another one a joke. no replies. tried phoning he wouldnt answer. Then i get a call later and as soon as i say hello, i get 'what'. im like what you mean what. he says ' i got missed calls off you'. i was like 'ok just wanted to say hello, if you need me to get you anything from the shop on way home let me know. I got three calls back asking for stuff... like 'oh i just thought of something i need can you get it for me'get home go to bed hes still acting offish. so i say straight. 'right babe im asking you and i want a straight answer do you wanna split up or something' 'no' was the response.then this today.....text from him, 'im sorry for being so miserable lately i feel like weve become stale. maybe we should spend sometime alone, see how things are'i reply 'you were fine until sunday, just went quiet on me. i think that maybe i should spend a couple nights a week at my moms place to give us some space what you think'(we live in one room and see eachother constantly - in eachothers faces)he says back'i dont know. i want a change. im not happy being with you anymore. im sorry.'i say.well dont you wanna work this out, dont wanna throw three years away. im serious though, ill make an effort to spend some time away cos i really want this to work.he says'i dont know we said that the last time. please dont be selfish about this i need to work now.i say'im not being selfish how can you say that. the difference this time is that i feel i need space too, im going crazy in that one room. but i luv you and dont want the situation to break us up, so im trying to fix the situation.he says, 'its not about space its about me not happy with you! the reason were still together is because of you which is why it is selfish. you put pressure on me.On friday i got a message from him reffering to a dress id been ogling sayin ' baby if you wanna get that dress ill buy it for you, because i love you xxx'so i replied to his last message above saying 'what you mean i pressure you, you sent that message about that dress to me on friday 4 days ago, i didnt make you do that, why would you send nice messages to me like that if you didnt love me. im confused'no reply, i just left his house and im now at my moms.Hes made me feel like ive made him be with me, but i dont understand how he could be so nice to me for so long if he didnt mean it. and how can he change his feelings so quick.im really upset now. whenever we had a problem id try to find a solution, now hes made me think that me finding solutions has forced him to stay with me. i love him dearly, do you think he really wants out forever?
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drunk, I love you, split up, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dust34  +, writes (28 February 2007):
i had the same prob she was off with me blaming me for everything.but the prob was her she had another bloke so that could be what he is doing.dont blame yourself your not the immature one.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): Too much drama going on here! Just leave it alone for a good long time, stay with your mother or find another place to live.
Is it really worth putting up with all his "stuff"? He clearly isn't happy, but goes back and forth - maybe he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. At any rate, don't contact him any more and see what happens. If you let him completely alone, you will see whether he calls in a couple weeks or so. If he does not, then there's your answer.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (27 February 2007):
 I'm sorry, but the only thing I can come up with is that this guy seriously needs to grow up. And you need to stop buying into his sh*t.Maturity is defined in terms of mental and emotional stability, and on those terms he just doesn't pass. And you're behaving like the last skater on the end of a game of "crack the whip", going from one extreme to another as he goes through whatever it is he's going through.If the two of you were ten years younger, I could understand this; at your age, both of you should know better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): I am sorry, but I don't really have much advice for you. But, I wanted to let you know that you are not alone! My ex did almost the same thing to me. Left with no warning and acted like it was my fault. Just know that it is not your fault. Try not to contact him. Cause either this will make him realize that he wants you back or it will start your healing. Please hang in there. Only time heals and God.
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