A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I’m really shy when it comes to sex, I usually have to know someone for quite a while before I’m comfortable sleeping with them. Only…I haven’t been with anyone in almost 5years now! – I haven’t so much as kissed a girl!I’m a fairly attractive and likable guy, I talk to girls all the time, have many girls as friends but as soon as I sense that spark of sexual energy I find myself running away, and I don’t want to. I want to be brave and just go with it. But I’m so terrified now – I was shy anyway but now it’s been so long too!Somehow my friends haven’t caught on to the fact that I’ll chat to a delightful girl all night long and then say, “It’s been lovely speaking to you, good night!” without getting a number!I always go home alone and just once id like the courage to go with the flow – whatever that may be, but I always bail before going any further than conversation.I’m so confident in all other things, I’m loud and I joke and act so I’ sure girls probably assume I’ just as confident in bed – when I am an entirely different person! I’m sure it’s their expectations that scare me the most.Now’s probably a good time to mention I don’t have any reason to be shy, everything is good down there, it’s just me, my feelings.How do I escape this silly routine and take the plunge? What should I say to the girl?It feels almost wrong, like I shouldn’t be having sex!? Has anyone else felt like this and what did you do?(ps. There is nothing in my history that gives reason for the way I feel – I’ve always had pleasant sexual experiences. Even though I was always nervous, I did enjoy it. So why do I feel this way? – am I a reincarnated monk!? Lol!)
View related questions:
shy, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 Asking for a phone number at the end of an evening can be a bit daunting because it comes with so much cultural baggage attached. It is much easier to ask for an e.mail address.
A
female
reader, Hersong  +, writes (4 July 2009):
I don't think there is anything wromg with you. I think it's the worse thing to have sex with someone who you don't truly know is the one you love. I know it's kinda a weird idea. But people who just 'go with the flow' they aren't the ones who find love. Even when someone is in love and they are together sometimes rushing into sex ruins it. I think that should be very special, saved for someone, the one whom you want to feel totally connected with and wish more than anything they;d give you a child, then when you feel that way, you'll know you can be with that person for the rest of your life and never get tired of seeing their face. That's true happiness, and I feel everyone else is a fool for not be willing to wait for it but instead just look for an instant gratification quick fix. But that probably wasn't the answering you were looking for eh?
...............................
|
