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I'm so angry, I thought he was genuine but now feel he's fed me a load of bullshit!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 June 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 June 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *ixieGwen writes:

I'm still angry and cant seem to get rid of this anger.

I dated this guy for 3 months. We had fun together but he had issues he needed to work through - excessive drinking, tryin to rebuild his life (get a car/job etc), family member dying and having to fix up their house/sell their things. He always told me how great I am, how rare and genuine I am, I deserved better, didnt know why I liked him and said he didnt want me to date others. He also seemed to like me a lot.

Well towards the end is when he started to get his life together but his life was also fallin apart (IE dying family member). So we saw less of each other (went from talkin/hanging daily to once a week if anything). We only talked if we were gonna hang so towards the end I told him it was cool if we couldnt hang but at least we could talk. He seemed surprised I stuck by him and told me he'd wanted to be in my life no matter what happened between us. Well seein we werent hanging he wouldnt reply to my texts all the time. He made it seem he was too busy to talk/hang. I was near his house late at night and noticed his car wasnt there so I figured he was must be drinkin which irritated me because he hadnt spoken with me in over a week and thats unlike him and supposedly he hadnt been goin out .

(me being in the area wasnt unordinary - a mutual best friend lived a block down from him.) Anyhow he decided to ignore me from then on and even though he knew it hurt me and the fact he said all this stuff.. - he hasnt bothered to reply to me.

I cant seem to get over the fact that he fed me all this bullshit and seemed sincere and on top of that even though I said that he'd probably disappear once he had the car, he said that'd be an asshole thing to do and he'd never do that.. but he pretty much did..

I honestly think he decided to do his own thing - get his shit together and couldn't careless about me.. I'm the last thing he needs to worry about I guess..

Hearing his name, being near his house, seein his car, anything involving him makes me angry and I seriously just wonder why he did this to me..

View related questions: best friend, text

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A female reader, PixieGwen United States +, writes (17 June 2010):

PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question

PixieGwen agony auntnah hes not cheating on me.. and besides we're not together anymore anyway.. like everyone said.. he played me..

it just sucks cos i trusted him. i def wont take it out on any other guy cos no matter how many times ive had my heart broken (i wear my heart on my sleeve) i still manage to pick up the pieces & date, find someone else..and sometimes theyre good for me and sometimes theyre not.although dating has left me a lil doubtful (ive dated since we stopped talking).This one just let me auper angry & that hasnt happened to me in awhile.

i guess i just didnt expect it to end like this. i didnt think it'd really last but i also didnt think he'd be this much of a douche and completely ignore me and disappear. that part makes me want to fuckin hit him in the face - hard. im not a violent person..so i would never do anything to him..but plenty of things have crossed my mind lol.i also didnt give him money - i dont believe in doin that..glad i didnt though..cos he'd def pay.

anyhoo thanks for responding you guys.. :) (hah.. assclown - great one)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010):

There is a lesson here. Anytime an adult male gives you a sob story of any kind and I mean any kind including the dying relative, and I have to get a car and get my life together, but just keep hanging around and letting me use you as an emotional dish towel....you are being manipulated.

He is a user, you thought he was a nice guy because he told you what you wanted to hear, but the relationship was not reciprocal. You did the texting, the checking in, telling him it was OK to neglect you but accepting the little crumbs he said is all he had to give.

BS! You deserve better, next time you run up against an assclown like this, turn away walk away and keep your ind from going off a tangent.

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A female reader, BunnyTee United States +, writes (17 June 2010):

BunnyTee agony auntStraight up? I think you were played, sister. It looks that way to me. Just plain old played. He kept baiting you, keeping you on the line, telling you what he knew you wanted to hear while he needed the shoulder to cry on, and keep him from being alone. Now, he doesn't need you anymore and it's Splitsville. I'd say you ran across a splendid example of the A$$hole variety. Hopefully, he didn't play you for money, too. This type usually does.

The best thing you can do is pick up the pieces of your heart, put them back together and drive on. Try hard to forget about him. I know that's easier said than done but allowing anger to consume you hurts only you,not him. Best wishes going forward and leaving this pile of male bovine excrement in the dust where he belongs!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010):

Well, I don't know what to say. There will come times in your life when you will have situations where you love someone and they let you down. You should dump him, and if you want another boyfriend, get one. But if this happened to me, I would be shaken and not date for a while. I don't really know what to say except he may be cheating on you and good luck. Make sure that when you talk to him, the message is clear that you hate him.

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