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I'm so alone now my boyfriend is in prison.

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2008) 11 Answers - (Newest, 29 March 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Im 18 but am madly inlove with someone ive been with for 2 years. hes got the kindest heart but he lost his way a lil while back and was sent to prison. hes been in there for almost 6 months now and has a couple more months left.

im not sure how im supposed to cope anymore? i see him everyweek and write basically everyday. i just feel so unsafe without him here and so lonely. how can i make this easier on myself and him?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2013):

I'm also alone that my boyfriend is in prison. I'm 21 years old and he is 26 we have a 5 month old son and I wish he can be here to help me. He sold drugs about two years ago and was sent to prison for 2 and a half years. He have exactly a year and 6 months left. I just cant wait until he get out. If we would known he was going to prison we would of never had a baby. I'm going to stay with him until the end, I know his family really want us to stay together.

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A female reader, usher United States +, writes (14 November 2011):

As far as waiting for your boyfriend in prison it owuld be worth it !! Ya people make mistakes but to leave him high and dry would not be good !! My fiance is in jail right now and will be going back to prison but i will wait for him i love him dearly !! And the other thing is my fiance has been to prison twice hes never changed who he was nor did it ever make him crazy all that messed up stuff you hear from friends and tv isnt true !! I just want you all to know that you got to keep your head up and be strong !!

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A female reader, usher United States +, writes (14 November 2011):

As far as waiting for your boyfriend in prison it would be worth it !! Ya people make mistakes but to leave him high and dry would not be good !! My fiance is in jail right now and will be going back to prison but i will wait for him i love him dearly !! And the other thing is my fiance has been to prison twice hes never changed who he was nor did it ever make him crazy all that messed up stuff you hear from friends and tv isnt true !! I just want you all to know that you got to keep your head up and be strong !!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011):

I know how you feel! My boyfriend just got sentenced to 1-3 years yesterday. I love him more than anything and it hurts to even think that I'm not going to be with him for that long.

He has already been transferred from the jail to the prison and now I just have to wait for him to write and set up visits. This is the hardest thing that I have ever done.

The day before he went to court (day before yesterday) he asked if I was going to wait for him. I told him yes of course. But it's just really hard. I know that I can wait for him... But part of me is kind of scared of what he's going to be like when he gets out.

He has cheated on me before (he told me it was because he didn't think I was really going to be there for him and didn't think I really loved him so he was going away and wanted to have fun). It was fucked up but we got over it.

I'm just scared he's gonna do something like that again... I heard guys go crazy like that when they get out. And I'm also kind of just scared of who he might become in prison. I have all these things on my mind...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a boyfriend/husband in there. I mean... it really sucks. But I'm glad I'm not alone. Everyone is telling me that I'm dumb for even being with him in the first place. But I really love him a lot. I wouldn't have been there this whole time if I didn't.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011):

My boyfriend who is the father of my son is being sent off to prison! He has to do 10yrs! He's been in the county jail for two years, and I had no problem with waiting for him! The thought of him gone for that long hurts me so bad! Ill continue to go visit him and write but what am I really suppose to do! I'm only 19! I'm clueless at this point! Raising my son without his father is what hurts me the most! Eventually, he wants to get married, and by doing that we can obtain conjugal visits! So many things running through my mind, I don't know what to do!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011):

My boyfriend who is the father of my son is being sent off to prison! He has to do 10yrs! He's been in the county jail for two years, and I had no problem with waiting for him! The thought of him gone for that long hurts me so bad! Ill continue to go visit him and write but what am I really suppose to do! I'm only 19! I'm clueless at this point! Raising my son without his father is what hurts me the most! Eventually, he wants to get married, and by doing that we can obtain conjugal visits! So many things running through my mind, I don't know what to do!

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A female reader, Lucky-n-Luv United States +, writes (12 June 2009):

Well I can honestly say that right now i feel the ezact way you do. Im 18 and my boyfriend is 21, we met in August 2008 and have only been dating since January. We are so much alike, we're both Tauruses and we love each other more than any one knows. My problem is that he just got locked up and for something extremely bad, IDK if he did the crime or not but i sincerly doubt it, he is the sweetest person that I've ever met, and i love him more than anything so how long can i wait i mean i truly believe that he is my soulmate and im certain that i dont want anyone else but im 18 i have just started my life and i dont know if i want to lock myself down so easily. Is this problem just to big for someone so young or am i so in love that i can see it through. I just dont have any answers but i will stay prayerful and hope for the best and 1 day my dream will come true.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009):

hi, im in the same situation... almost. My boy friend hasnt been convicted of the crime yet but if he is I'm going to stick with him. He made a mistake a long time ago and i wont let that get in the way of our relationship, he is such a sweet careing guy and i know he has a great future ahead of him

If I have to deal with him being incarcerated, I would try to focus all my energy into evrything that I love. Just enjoy being on your own for the time being, hang out with your girl friends, pick up a hobbie, and maybe even focus on school. this whole experience could bring you two closer and maybe even improve your education.

Make the best of what seems a hopeless situation

I hope i helped, good luck !

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009):

my boyfriend went to prison 8 months ago and he's got another 18 months left to serve i felt so depressed since the day he was sentenced. ive been with him for 5 1/2 years and we've been through so much together i find this so hard to cope with even though i see him every week talk to him everyday and write to him very often i just think to myself is my life goin to ever be the same again.

i love this boy so much but sometimes think i would be better off out of it all.

but i know im never goin to find another boy like this one and im happy to wait for him cause he really is the love of my life.

some people think its easy but i know untill you've been through this yourself you dont know how hard it is!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008):

Hang in there. My boyfriend also went to prison but for 4 years. The one thing he was terrified of was receiving a 'Dear John' letter as this seemed to happen to all his cronies. He knows you are there for him and waiting for him so hopefully your love for him will pull you through this. Being lonely and without someone you really love is very hard. Any form of physical exercise or activity can really help. I spent a hell of a lot of time on doing my garden which helped pass the time. Also go out with your female friends even if you don't want to. It seems like a long time but the time does pass. Write to him a lot as they really appreciate that too.

There is nothing unsafe about being out there on your own. Statistically more people live on their own now than in a family unit and they all manage perfectly well. It is just a mindset. You are safe and you are not alone, it is just different without him. If you are scared it could be a good idea to do a self awareness course or learn how to protect yourself physically but I think it is more a case of being frightened without your partner being there. Just keep going and you will come through this.

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A male reader, SinVA United States +, writes (15 November 2008):

Sounds like you really love him. Don't stray or get tempted by other men and he will truly appreciate the sacrafice you made when he gets out. Only a couple months left so just find a new activity or somthing, pick up a sport, learn how to cook, im sure when he gets out anything you cook him will taste delicious so learn how to make some nice meals or somthing.

Goodluck and stay strong, let your man know you feel lonely and ask him what he recommends. Mention sports etc.

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