A
female
age
36-40,
*reamingbella
writes:Hi fellows,I've been in the tough days presently so i thought me should leave a note here for your precious advices.I'm happily engaged with an amazing man who's been with me for 1 year, kept working hard on our long distance relationship, who's never left me even though i sent no love response back. After 8 months i fell for him and felt what people call "love". So i accepted his proposal and been happy with him until now. Though we've had arguments, we've fought but we found each other back after each fight. 3 days ago i met my best mate, chatted with her. Stupidly mentioned about my first love. Then got back home, looked back my first's pics, listened to his records, read his birthday card for me 3 years ago. I cried as normal. At that moment, i stopped thinking about my fiance. My fiance's on the field trip with his army force. He texted me at that moment to check if i could receive it. Terribly i was intending to ignore it and reply next morning. Then he texted: send a text back baby. Then i did. He said it's good to hear from me then asked me to go sleep. "I'm sorry hun, just give me more time" said my mind. I gave a kiss on the ring, took it off and placed it beside my pillow. Right now i feel awful that i did that.It's been 3 days, i've thought of many things. Like how i named my first's pics "my love", "my - his name" but i haven't named my fiance's pic that way. I've felt the awful pain in my heart for 3 days. Normally it lasted only 1 day. This time it's been 3 days. I feel so scared. I'm so afraid i couldn't love my current man as much as he deserves. Coz right now i've realised i haven't loved anyone as much as i did to my first.More info, my first didn't cheat on me. We broke up coz it was so hard to be together while both lived apart. He set me free as he said it's the best for me. Many years i've hated how he could give up on me even though i accepted it. My fiance knew i had tough time after breaking up with my first. He stayed with me when i wasn't opened up. He's the one who opened my heart up, who gave me love and care. My mates told me, spend as much time as i have to think about my fiance, look at our pics then i will fade the past and keep moving on with this angel. I know i will be okay as always. But the pain in my heart still remains till today. So please tell me your advice which i'd love to hear.Thanks for your reading.From a stubborn and silly lass.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 I think if you come to grips with the fact that you'll always love your ex and have a place in your heart for him, it will be easier for you to move on. When someone is a big part of our life, it's natural to keep loving them, even if things don't work out in the end. I still love many of my exes, even though I know we don't belong together.
You need to focus on your present and future. Living in the past will only cause you pain and torment. It cannot be changed, so it's best to focus on that which you are capable of influencing. That means you need to focus on your current relationship.
It seems that you love your fiance very much, perhaps more than you realize because you blind yourself with thoughts of your ex. Don't let your fiance turn into another regret by ruining what you have.
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