A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 6 months pregnant and my fiance turned me down when I wanted to have sex a few weeks ago. I was really hurt because I felt rejected and like I'm not attractive enough right now for him. I'm now scared to try and initiate anything in the intimacy department. What would be the best way for me to try and initiate anything? I don't want our sex life to go down the drain. Please help!!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): Not all men even know it is possible to have sex when pregnant (I certainly didn't until my gf was preggies). Let alone that your hormones can make you want it more than normal. Also that the changes in your body means that you need reassurance that you are still desirable (and IMHO pregnant women are very desirable). Explain those and ask if he has any worries.From a sexual point of view, he needs to be less formulaic than usual. Working around the bump can take some doing and you might need to try it a few ways before finding one that works for both of you. Because of the bump in some positions his penis isn't buried as deep as usual, and so sex can feel unsatisfactory for him. So it's just as important for him to say "this position doesn't work for me" as it is for you to say it. All of this can be a huge load of fun; it rather brings back memories of being a fumbling teenager, trying and failing to get Tab A into Slot B. We certainly did a bit of fun roleplaying on that theme once the situation had ceased being frustrating and started being funny.Your breasts are bigger so perhaps you could suggest that if he wants a tittyxxxx then now is the time. If he's got any feelings of dominance at all, then his semen between the breasts of his pregnant woman should do something for him.You could be blunt and slightly crude -- you know your man and if it will work. You aren't going to want sex after baby has gone through and after baby is keeping you awake every night. He'll be lucky to get it a few times in the first year. So he should take advantage of your horniness whilst it is on offer.My gf's sexual tastes changed during pregnancy. She's a very independent woman, but she very much wanted gentle acts of domination, such as being taken fully clothed from behind in the kitchen whilst making dinner shortly after I arrived home. I guess that this was some subliminal seeking of reassurance.A major reason men don't want sex has to do with stress. I wonder if that is an issue.You might find that buying some good books on baby's first year and on fatherhood goes a way to decreasing his fear of the unknown.Make sure you're not leaving all the stressing over money up to him, as the first year with baby is a tough time and he may well be wondering how to cope, especially if you haven't trimmed expenses yet.He'll certainly be feeling that this is the end of the happy-go-lucky time of his life and the start of responsibility, and he may well be dwelling on that. The sheer joy of fatherhood kicks in massively once the baby is born, but unlike women there's not the same build up to the event. So men feel rather at a loss in this transition time.Best of luck, for both after your baby is born and for before.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 March 2011):
 It's quite possible that he thought he might hurt the baby, or that he might hurt you if he got intimate. Also, sometimes, some guys make the mistake of thinking that because you're carrying his child, that he's not looking at you in a sexual way now, but more of in a maternal way.
Aunt is right, a nice, long talk about how you're feeling and giving him time to tell you how he's feeling will most likely do the trick for you.
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A
female
reader, nikkichick66 +, writes (28 March 2011):
Although I have not many ideas of a way to initiate the sexual relationship you should give him time. You're pregnant..he may just not want to harm the baby or feels a little scared about the baby. Why don't you ask him? Honesty is the bet policy
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 I'm sure you are still attractive to him, there could be many reasons why he refused to have sex with you, and you are probably thinking the worst. Just remember being pregnant is a beautiful expereince for both of you.
The best thing you can do is talk to him and be honest with him. Tell him exactly how you are feeling and give him a chance to tell you how he feels and why he turned you down. I bet there is a good explanation.
Goodluck and all the best with the birth of your child.
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