A
female
age
51-59,
*ily26
writes:Can a man and woman be friends? He is married, I am single. We were friends in college, ran into one another, and I am not sure if a friendship is appropriate. I feel I can be friends without complication, but can a man? Do they seek friendship from a woman without an ulterior motive? A man's perspective would be appreciated... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): Thanks for the responses! (except for the getting introduced to a 'game' by "me" part -)
I think it is possible, but based on your answers, the fact that I have offered on several occassions to meet his wife, and perhaps spend time with her, too, (to no avail) and the fact that I question his motives at all - tells me loud and clear, I should not get involved.
xoxo to all
A
female
reader, Dawnie  +, writes (30 March 2008):
 There is nothing wrong with being friends with this married guy as long as you don't have an ulterior motive.
Having said that if his wife has a problem with it then you need to back off and leave him alone.
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A
male
reader, polarkite +, writes (30 March 2008):
 I think some guys are wired that way and others are not. I think most married guys mean well going into a friendship type relationship, but obviously that's not how things always turn out.I think as a guy matures, it becomes easier and more possible. I happen to not be wired that way. When I was younger, I thought it was impossible for a serious relationship with a woman to not be romantic. Now keep in mind, I didn't think that every *serious relationship* had to turn into dating, but it at least had a element of tension and flirting with that possibility. I still think this way, but I'm also open to the possibility that it's not always true.I'd look by example, does he have other true female friends or are you the first? If you are the first, chances are higher he's not good at this game, and is getting introduced into it by you.
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A
female
reader, Lily26 +, writes (30 March 2008):
Lily26 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, now, what if I tell you his wife may not agree? We were very good friends, but I am not so sure I am not "the one that got away" for him, at least. Not so sure the marriage is a happy one...I love his friendship, but definately do NOT want to cause a ruckus...
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A
male
reader, Transcowboy +, writes (30 March 2008):
 I see no problem in just being friends as long as you keep it just as frineds. Im a 26 year old guy, and most of my friends are married woman. I just find them easy to talk to. I know enough about them to respect them.
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