A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi friends,Few years back i used to work in a company.I had a colleague over there. After leaving that company we have been in contact through phones and mails. Now few days back he proposed me for marriage and told me that he used to like me very much and now he loves me. I also had attraction for him, but can;t say love.We both are singles, but i can't marry him because of my family reasons. I told him clearly. Even then he is calling me, sending me love messages. I also like them and participate fully in the romantic converstaion. Yesterday only, he told me that he likes my hair, intelligence and boobs. He said he wants to make love with me. As i am a single, i am getting more and more attracted towards him. What should i do?
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female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (22 August 2011):
 If you know nothing lasting can come of this flirtation then why bother? If you play with fire you end up getting burned.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2011): Judging from your post, it seems you two know each other pretty well. Assuming his intentions are genuine, it is simply a case of one-sided love. You are asking what to do regarding him and these supposed 'family reasons'.
Here is my story. I can honestly say that I know how it is to be in this man's shoes. The man I loved dearly also liked me very much and was romantically interested in me. Yet he claimed he couldn't marry me for 'family reasons' and 'cultural differences' and so on. When we talked about his reasons in detail, I found that his reasons were really not issues at all - he even agreed to this. When I pressed him on the matter, all he would say is that he had made his choice - that it is probably be the wrong one and he may be crazy for it and regret it later in life, but he was sticking with his choice. It killed me inside.
But what hurt WAS NOT that he turned me down. It was that I did not get a fair chance. All I wanted was a chance to date him for a while (officially) and the opportunity to talk to his family and prove myself a a worthy and good woman for their son. I did this for him already - he is of a different race AND religion. My father can be quite racist, but after getting to know him thought him to be a great guy for me. All I had desired was a chance to try to do the same with his family. If afterwards it still failed, it would not be for a lack of trying. I could let him go in peace.
Instead, he decided that he could not or did not want to do that for whatever reason. Instead, he married a girl from his own country that his family approved of even though she usually treated him quite badly. What will become of them when she moves here from their home country, no one really knows.
The point of my story is this: family is important. You need to heed your parents' words and do what you can to make them happy and care for them. BUT you DO NOT allow them to CONTROL your life either. If you do not like him at all, then end all contact. Cut him off completely and minimize his pain of losing you. If you do find yourself to like him and are romantically attracted to him (as you claim in this post), then give him a chance. Date for a few months, let him meet your family, and give him the opportunity to show himself to be a man your family will be proud to see you marry.
The decision is yours, but as someone who has suffered the other end of this ordeal, do not simply deny him the chance to try like I was. It is a pain that does not go away.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (22 August 2011):
 "Baby... I like your hair. Oh yeah, your intelligence. Also, your boobs. I want to make love with you."
This sounds like a guy who wants to get you in bed, or a guy who is in lust with you. If you can't be with him for whatever reasons (though, more information there would be very helpful), then I would keep my distance and not play with fire and complicate this situation by sleeping with him.
Good luck, my dear!
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