A
female
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*acqui
writes:Hi I am planning on going it alone after being in a relationship for over 3 years and I'd like advice please. How do I stop myself falling into the same trap? Last 2 boyfriends cheated as did ex husband. What do I do wrong? This time plan to have "time off". All said they loved me, couldnt live without me, etc yet they all cheated! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jacqui +, writes (1 August 2007):
jacqui is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your advice.I think this site is great, I am glad I found it!!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): Could you perhaps subconsiouly be attracted to people that is likely to cheat on you? Maybe some counselling and looking back in to your childhood to find some answers?
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A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 This takes some calculating but if you think you can play ppoker, then you should be able to pull it off. You know when people meet you talk about past relationships. Have him tell you about Why did they break up? Did he love her? Was she there for him? At a later time, maybe a week later or so, ask him the same questions. You will be able to guage his response, it should be the same. Then throw in, did you cheat on her? See how he reacts. Does he hesitate? Does he tell you that she cheated on him. Anyway, it's not full proof, but alot of people have a hard time giving a straight answer if they're lying. Watch the eyes too, poeple that lie don't usually make eye contact. Enough about that, what's more important is if you are in a relationship where someone cheats, what are you going to do then. It can happen even to people with the best intentions. If you would leave them, then make it very clear in the beginning of the relationship that if you cheat on me, I will be gone and never look back. Picking someone that is lower risk for cheating has it's merits, and for some men cheating is normal behavior. When your in a relationship, you have to treat the other person as if they are being honest and truthful and the most important person in your life. If you don't give 100% then they may see that as rejection and be tempted to go elsewhere to find the attention that your not giving them. If you're not getting the attention you need, then you yourself could even be tempted. If you're a strong person, then you get out of the relationship. This is a big question you asked, there's so much more to it than just a simple answer. You can contact me privately if you like.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (24 July 2007):
 So you last two boyfriends cheated as did your ex Husband. Don't think you were to blame, or its all your fault that they strayed, you did nothing wrong.
Maybe it a wise decision to have some time out, have some me time and go out and do the things you want to do. Go out with friends have a laugh and let your hair down.
I have had a few bad relationships and at the moment i am really enjoying being single, coming and going when i please, and no one nagging at me about how many times i have been to the gym.
Enjoy the single scene for a while and don't be in to much of a rush to meet someone straight away. Invariable we meet our perfect partners when we least expect it.
Good luck x
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