A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Readers,Could someone please help me in my current situation that I just feel is deteriorating as is my mental health.My family has underminded and abused me for much of my life around my daughter since I can remember. She is now nearly 14. I unfortunatley due to the lack of support from my dysfunctional family and my mother supporting my ex who I have a current Violent restraing order against have found it very difficult in my life to break out of this domestic violence triangle.My daughter was not happy at the last two schools she went to in the past and at her request and family pressures I took her out and sent her to other schools which she also wasn't happy with.My daugher wanted me to apply for a Schlorship at the Catholic Agricultural School Bindoon with the horses in the country which she said she loved. She won a Scolarship worth thousands of dollars against hundreds of applicants.She didn't like it or the structure or boundaries that they tried to set which I have been trying to set for her myself to keep her safe.I insisted that my daughter see a Psychologist at the Boarding School who knew the family situation who commented that she thought it was crucial for my daughters development to have some boundaries and structure in her life and opportunities to gain some independence and to make friends for her socialisation which she has none of with her Dad and my sister due to her father wanting my daughter to stay with him due to his own vested interests to compensate with his lonliness and inability to form a successful relationship with a women. I believe my sister also has vested interests with my daughter living with her for one week on one with her father the next as she is a drug addict/alcoholic with a 2 year old son. My daughter is you could say a free babysitter when she is sleeping off a hangover or drug binge.My family as a result of my daughter not being happy at the Boarding School gave her the out once again as they have always done in the past when I tried to set a boundary or even have a relationship with a man and they consequently have continued to try to sabotage any happiness I may find with someone as they say Miranda my daughter isn't happy and they give her the option to stay with them until I back down to their threats and bullying and have her living with me again. She does nothing but disrespect me when she is with me which I am not surprised about as she has heard my family undermining me constantly since she was little. I unfortunatley was always outnumbered by them all in my attempts to set boundaries for my girl. I have since grown stronger and have had a lot of counselling who have told me that I am in a Domestic Violence Cycle. In April this year they did it again and against my wishes as her mother pulled her out of her Scholarship. A place where I believe I finally had some healthy support for her and whereby I didn't have to rely on my dysfunctional family who are drug addicts, alcoholics and plain abusive. I have done everything I posssibly can ie the child protection agency who refuse to intervene and also the courts who have told me that if my daughter is adamant that she doesn't want to return to the Boarding School that in a Court she is old enough for her opinions of where she wants to live will be taken into account.My sister has now lied to Centrelink and told them that my daughter lives me with 50% of the time. This is her way of extracting further monies from Centrelink despite the fact that she lives in a defacto relationship with a guy and has not declared it.I am sick and tired of the emotional blackmail, abuse, threats to my life from her father and this has in turn exacerbated my mental health of Major Depression, Anxiety, Post traumatic stress.I am very sad about what has happened and found since I am finally standing up for myself and the fact that I am my daughters mother and that should count for something being totally dismissed.I'm finding it hard to continue my studies at uni which is all I have that is positive in my life at the moment and feel increasingly anxious and depressed with the continual threats and bullying from my daughter, her father, my mother, sister and my dad.I'm thinking do I need to get some geographical distance here to have a normal life where I can get well?I don't know how much more I can take of this.Please could someone give me some advice.Thank-you
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alcoholic, depressed, emotional blackmail, my ex, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2011): Yes. Move away and cut all contact. You and your daughter are in a toxic situation and need out.
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