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I'm shy. Does she think I'm ont interested? Should I approach her?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, *ovember501 writes:

There is this really pretty girl that I like at church. She and I are both freshmen in college, but go to different universities in the same city. I'm pretty sure she likes me back because I catch her looking at me many times, and when I make eye contact with her, she quickly turns the other way. She is really shy, but it always seemed to me that she wanted to talk to me. Unfortunately, I'm not the most outgoing person, but I did talk to her a few times and we have many things in common including the same home area. Because we are both the shy type, our conversations weren't long, but she seemed really happy to talk to me.

So things seemed to go really well until recently, she hasn't been coming out to church. I texted her a few times during the week, and she just seemed busy with tests. But I haven't seen her in two weeks now, and she didn't even come out to the concert that she, me and my friends were supposed to go together this weekend. I texted her to see what was going on, but I've had no replies and my friend who goes to the same college as she does thinks she is switching to another church. I'm too afraid to call her to see what's up because I don't want an empty reply, but I feel as though if I don't do something I'll never have another chance to get closer with her.

So I guess my question is should I take the risk and ask her why she didn't come out to the concert and church even if she might feel uncomfortable? And do you think she might have just given up because I wasn't approaching her enough? Because I thought shy girls like to take relationships slow. I need advice on what to do about this situation please!

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A male reader, november501 United States +, writes (9 November 2009):

november501 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your response Tatumokeef! I definitely think I should call her up to meet and hang out. I have no problem talking to other girls, but I find myself being nervous when I talk to girls I'm attracted to. It's funny because I actually do tend to over think situations. And you're right. Stepping out of my comfort zone to talk to her and finding out how she really feels about me seems far better than not doing anything and not knowing what could have been. Thanks again!

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A male reader, Tatumokeef United States +, writes (9 November 2009):

Tatumokeef agony auntIt sounds like she does like you and she is probably just busy. She may also be getting involved in the college life and meeting new people. You need to call her and ask her to hang out or meet up somewhere to talk. If you don't talk to her, then you'll never find out if she likes you.

Being shy is hard. You probably over think situations way to much and consider too many options. Most girls don't like guys that are afraid to talk to them. This doesn't me that girls don't like shy guys. You just need to put yourself out there and show her who you are for what you really are. Just be confident and don't be afraid of being turned down or ignored. Also don't bug her to death by texting her all the time or calling every hour or day.

Im pretty sure if you call her and ask her to meet up with you somewhere, it will throw her off completely and make her more interested. Good luck, be strong!

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