A
female
age
30-35,
*ovehel
writes:We have been going out 6 years on and off. We are students (23) He started working a few weeks ago. He didn't reply to my msg for 3 days, I heard from him the 4th day saying how much he loves me etc...he sent me a msg saying he will take me out later...I was excited. It ended up he had nothing planned and took me out at 11 30 pm at night. When he picked me up I asked him what he was doing for the 3 days he didn't even say goodnight to me. He said he spent it with friends, doing this and that. I was thinking about him so much those days when he didn't even give me a second thought.I just felt angry. When I worked before I went back to college, I spent all my free time with him and prioritized him. I felt he didn't care about me and wanted to be reassured. Instead he gave out to me and said I was ruining the night. That he just wanted to have a good time. He told me we weren't married and to get over it. I wanted an answer he ended up telling me to go make some friends. He turned back saying this isn't working out and leaving me home. He was really cold and distant since I met him. Didn't even give me eye contact. I'm kind of shocked? What do you think?
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (25 June 2016):
 I don't think that it was something as petty as that that led to the breakup. Clearly there was something brewing beneath the surface. If I were you I wouldn't bother even trying to talk to him/ try to win him back. It's time to move on sweetie. He's just not thaaaaaaaat into you.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (23 June 2016):
 lovehel, when you make someone else the centre of your universe, you're not showing them how much you love them. You're making them responsible for your happiness.
And it's bossy and selfish. Demanding that your boyfriend do for you the same as you do for him, your dictating the terms and the pace of the relationship based on YOUR needs and wants.
I don't know what others issues you two have, but I'd say this one is a biggie and has been one of the main problems in your on again off again status.
He's right in that you have got to find your own purpose in life, your own friends and something to do with yourself when you're apart. Being in a relationship does not mean you HAVE to spend every waking moment in each other's company, communicating with one another when you're apart and proving how much you mean to one another.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 June 2016):
 I think he is not as into you as you are into him.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 June 2016):
 I think you have adequate information to understand that this guy doesn't really like/love you NEARLY as much as you do (like/love) him.....
Knowing that.... decide how long you want to endure his horrible treatment..... and, heave a large sigh of relief when you FINALLY say: "enough with YOU, A$$hole... I have a life to live.... and it doesn't look like you belong in it...."
THEN you can start THE REST of your life....
Good luck..
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A
male
reader, DarrellG  +, writes (22 June 2016):
 Well there is more going on here than is being said. Something is definately going on with him behind the scenes and you need to know what it is. So, lay it on the line. Tell him you need to talk and ask whats going on and where you stand. There is no way around this and you have to be prepared for answers you wont like and that will hurt you. You have given six years of your life to this and straight answers are the least you deserve. Just be strong, be aware you might end up in a place you dont want too but you will end up there in any case. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2016): I think you annoyed him so much he turned around and took you home! You were trying to brow beat him into answering your question when he already answered it and he was making it clear that he wouldn't take it for a second. He reminded you that you're not married and told you to get some friends because he wants you to get a life. You ruined the night because he was planning to have sex w you and you killed the mood.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 June 2016):
 "We have been going out 6 years on and off" - this shows that your relationship probably wasn't healthy or right for either of you."When I worked before I went back to college, I spent all my free time with him and prioritized him" - this is good and bad; you need to prioritise a partner to an extent, but you shouldn't spend all of your free time with them because you need to have a separate identity too. He should have been able to spend 3 days without you, but it was inconsiderate to not message you at all.I think you do need to make friends and get a hobby; you were probably quite clingy because you've spent your whole adult life so far without really being alone. I'm not saying it's your fault he was the way he was, just that you need to give yourself space now and be single for 6 months or so.
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