A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i am sexually and emotionally attracted to my aunt. she has a boyfriend. i have no idea if she's into girls or not or even if she thinks being gay is ok. i have tried to forget about it, but have not succeeded. i can't stop thinking about her. what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): What kind of relationship can you possibly think you'll have?No matter where in the world you go, it will be shunned and you will be targeted for ridicule at the very least.If you want an older woman, by all means go for one, but the days when it was acceptable to keep it in the family are long gone kid.Deal with it.Flynn 24
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks much guys for the great insight
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): Well, i had a similar situation. I decided to test the waters and got drunk with her one day. After about 10 drinks I started making out with her she went ahead with it and we actually had sex. Which i mmust say was fucking AMAZING!!!! I love men but wow women know what to do. When we got up the next morning both of us naked in each other arms we blamed it on drinking. We never speak about it but I find myself visiting her more and more with a bottel of rum. I suggest you go for it. You will love it
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (13 September 2008):
It maybe illegal where you live to have a relationship with such a close relative even if she consented. It doesn't stop you feeling that way however...you should focus on what you fancy about her, then go out in the big wide world and find a non-related girl who fits those criteria. Imagine the hurt and embarrassment this would cause your family if your secret was revealed.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): Hey person!
Ok so I think that you should try and be really honest with yourself about why you think you are attracted to your aunt. You may think there is no reason, that you just are attracted to her, but if you are honest and introspective and can admit what you find attractive about her then you are a long way to helping yourself.
Personally I do not think you should pursue your aunt in any way, I definitely think honesty is always the best policy, but I am also realistic and realise that this kind of confession could seriously damage family relations.
Sexual relationships between family members are taboo most cultures, there are good reasons for this, family dynamics do not work well with romantic dynamics. Families are wholes, everyone is linked to everyone else, so I really don't think you can pursue a sexual relationship with your aunt.
This next bit of advice may seem counter-intuitive, but hear me out. Get to know your aunt, often when we are attracted to people we are actually more attracted to the idea of them, we don't see all of them only the parts we want to see. This is unfair to her as it creates unreasonable expectations for her to fulfill. If you get a more holistic, truthful understanding of your aunt you may see her less as a sex object and more as a person. An important family member.
Hope that helped.
22-M
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