A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with a man who has a partner and 2 small children. I know he feels the same way and is very unhappy with his current partner and stays for the children, but I am not sure I can live with breaking up a family. However, I just cannot get this man out of my mind, and we keep on contacting each other. In the meantime I have tried to go and date other people as I truly do want to settle down. No one seems to measure up to him though and my feelings just will not seem to go away! I can go for weeks/months at a time without seeing or contacting him and yet still have feelings for him. Do i go all out and go for this with him or sever all contact and leave him to his own life,knowing he is unhappy and i could make him happy??
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female
reader, EJ  +, writes (17 December 2010):
Hi there, I have had two relationships with men who are married. And everytime its the same story - he is unhappy and I apparently make him happy. But, it never ended in him choosing me. If he is really unhappy. he should make a decision for himself to walk out. Plus, if you continue with him, you will carry his baggage. And the chances of him doing this to another women is just as good. So, yes, it is difficult to forget him and it will be very painful but do it for yourself - because you value yourself and you deserve to be treated well. You are not another man's side dish - you must be the one for him. You must love yourself enough to do this for you. May you always put yourself first.
A
female
reader, AuntJessie +, writes (24 December 2008):
Hello, I understand your dilema but you must end this relationship. I have been in this situation and it absorbs your whole life. Waiting on a text, phone call or any type of contact. When I met my married man he was leaving her imminently and then the goalposts kept changing. Her birthday, the family holiday, Childrens birthday then after christmas. After 5 months of being in limbo I took charge of my life and ended it. I still miss him and think of him every day, the pain eases and life does go on.
I remember all the good times with him, but they were stolen moments and its easily to forget being alone during the holidays, the lonely weekends, him looking at his watch, you being at his beckon call and the nights you lie crying wishing for the strength to break all contact.
You owe it to yourself sweetheart to give him up. If this was your best friend what advice would you give her? . . . .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): He is going to break your heart, if he wanted to be with you he would of left his partner, long time ago he left his children to have an affair with you that didnt bother him so he made his choice, but now the choice is he wants his family and regrets what he did because if he loved you he would make arrangements to be with you....and dont beleive its the children the wife is the big picture he still loves her...and cant bear the guilt what he did to her leave this family alone get your own because someday Karma might be visiting your home too......3
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): Hi Sweetie,
I was in the same place as you this time last year, and I followed it all through to eventually sleeping with him, only for him to then regret it, break off all contact with me and stay with his family.
I have spent the whole of this year getting over him and what happened and am still sad about it now.
Please try and resist it if you can, the probability of a happy ending is very unlikely, Im sorry to say.
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (5 December 2007):
Imagine yourself in his wife's position.He's more likely to cheat on you.He may be sleeping with other ladies apart from you and i guess you wouldn't care much as long as you have "your share"? There are no two ways about it,what you are doing is wrong.Are you always gonna share men,even your future husband?What do you mean,no one's measuring up?Does he have a member no one else can't match? Or his affections towards you are uncomparable? STOP COMPARING.Appreciate someone they way they are just like you did for the same married man.Now learn to appreciate the good things in a person and please give it some time.You don't expect to forget someone in just a month.Stop dating the married guy and meet other people and stop comparing them to your married lover.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Help me please my wife  +, writes (5 December 2007):
How can you trust him if he is willing to cheat on his current wife you think he wont do the some thing to you when your not looking please tell his wife then leave for good he is not a good man
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Getting involved with a married or committed person is wrong, because you harm to a third party, in this case the partner and the children, who have done no harm to you. Only because of this, you should end the relationship.
But I think I can find more motives for you to leave this man. I'm afraid that he might be giving you a "higher reason", his children, just as an excuse not to be with you, because he really has no intention to leave his current partner.
I find it odd that he won't complain if you don't contact him for "weeks or months at a time". It seems to me that he doesn't have any problem with your leaving. When you love someone, his/her leaving might devastate you. In his case, apparently your leaving doesn't affect him.
How long will you wait for this man? If he stays "for the children", then you have something like 18 years of waiting ahead of you. Can you handle it?
By the way, this is the reason why I think he is playing you. His reason, "the children", will continue to exist for many years, and he knows it.
I would recommend that you stopped seeing this man.
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