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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 22, my bf is 34, and we love each other.My mother is 45 and yesterday she told me a guy who was 38 asked her to be his gf. (My mom has an amazing bf who is also 45 so obviously she won't date that guy.)My mom doesn't know about my relationship because I am scared to tell her I am going out with someone who is 12 years older I think she will go crazy. I thought it was funny someone who is 4 years older than my bf asked out my mom and I wanted to share that funny story with my bf but I am scared that will hurt his feelings.What do you think? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI original thought it was funny to go out with someone 12 years older but now I know it's not a problem. I go out with him like I go out with everyone else. We both go to school, he is working on his phD I am working on my master. Both of us don't party. I don't like parties in general he might have liked it when he was my age who knows.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank everyone for answering the question. I will definitely need them when it's the right time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think this site should stop messing with my titles because my question is "should I share my joke with him" instead of "whether I should tell my mom I am going out with someone older"I will definitely tell my mom when I think our relationship is stable.
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male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 It's also funny that the age gap with your bf and your mom is 11 years and that it's 12 years with you.
I've seen 20 years old woman going out with 50 years old man. It's not uncommon to see younger woman going out with older guys.
With age come experience, the older you get the more you know how to take care of someone else.
An experienced woman said to me that she found that man age 14 to 25 appeared confused and that she didn't found that attractive. I, being 22, can say that what she said is true.
Yes there's a somewhat big age gap between you and your bf but you still have to let your mom know about it. Most moms wants what's best for their kids.
I know that for my mom, she approves someone for their personality and attitude rather than her age.
Even if she doesn't approves, it's your life not hers. I know it's nice to have a parent's approval/support but they won't always see things like you do.
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female
reader, confusednkentucky +, writes (28 April 2009):
Well how open minded is your mother? You may try easing into it, ask her opinion on age differences, and before you get around to telling her make sure when you do you can express all of his qualities and why he makes you so happy, even when parents don't aprove so to say, their concern is usually what's best for their child. If you think the relationship has potential you'll have to let her know, but i'd create the best time to tell her. Obviously you all communicate, she told you about the guy asking her out, don't get to caught up in thinking she'll freak, and if she does, you have to be able to say what's so great about him, so she'll see the relationship for what it is and not get hung up on his age.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): Take it from me, 12 years isn't that big an age difference. I definitely know!
If your mom hears how much you and your boyfriend both care about each other, then she might not be concerned about the age difference. It depends though, does she have views where she doesn't agree with age differences in relationships? If so, then perhaps she won't take it so well. But even if she doesn't, with time she may start to come around to the idea.
Or, why not introduce your boyfriend to your mom? That way, she will be able to get to know him as a person, and not as an age difference. She might actually like him.
As for the funny story...I don't know why that would hurt his feelings, unless he is sensitive to the topic. It depends on his sense of humour I suppose! x
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female
reader, i wanna love u like mad  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 i think you should definately tell her. explain to her that hes a great bloke and that you love him. i you have to lie to her and say yuo havent gone very far ;)
she might be mad at first but eventually she will understand
hope you sort things out and please write to me later and tell me how things went x
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