A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm going to really cut a long story short. About a year ago I fell in love with this absoutley amazing woman, as everyone says when they fall in love, yet I couldn't tell her due to our situations. In July last year I commented that I was really suicidual to a friend, over her but neither knew why. She ended up finding out. Since then she's been really caring over me. I have tried to commit suicide, and she's been almost a personal consuellor more than a friend. I never wanted to tell her because she is married and has a family, and wouldn't want any pressure brought onto her. Recently we have been having some trust problems however. She's 'backstabbed me' a couple of times by telling other people and getting me into some trouble over it. I told her I stupidly to make a point whilst angry that I would do it early April.I'm afraid that she wouldn't take me seriousli if I don't do it though. I don't really want to die, because of the people around me but I wouldn't say I'm exactly scared of death. We had an arguement last night; I said she wasn't taking me seriously and didn't believe me. When I'm angry I just, think things with evidence but it's almost like I forget it when I'm better again...I'm not calling her until I next see her at work and plan to avoid her. Yet still I don't think she's taking me seriously. When I avoid her though, I go through a world of pain. She's leaving soon too.Any advice?!
View related questions:
at work, fell in love Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): I completely agree with birdynumnums.
You have an empty spot in your heart, much has or may have happened to you in the last few years that has you feeling depressed.
You first must understand that she is taken, and would be selfish on your part to intervene in her private life, this would be wrong. She has gone out of her way to be a friend and help, but it seems you can't get enough. You must realize that there is only so much she can give you, that you must eventually pull yourself out of the blues. Others cn help only so much and so far, you shouldn't be taking advantage of the hospitality offered, but be grateful they like you and are willing to help.
As stated, you need to find professional help, thoughts of suicide are serious, and if true, you need help from those who have studied it and can offer you assistance; this girl is a friend and doesn't have what you need.
I'm also getting the feeling your using this suicide stuff to persuade her to your wants. This to is wrong and selfish and controlling.
Back off from her and get help. This game playing with this girl will only hurt her and make you more miserable, unless it is a game.
Get professional help.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 April 2008):
 Wow, Hun. Most people want the best for the person that they love. You are heaping a whole lot on to her "already full" plate. She is responsible for her husband, whom she made vows to, and to her children, who she has to care for and raise. If you love her, stop making her responsible for you too. That is just too much pressure for any one woman.
You have to take up responsibility for yourself as a grown man. Stop using her as a counselor and get some professional help to deal with your constant thoughts of death and suicide. Your love sounds very needy and one sided, because you are asking for it and not showing it in return. You need to start redefining this relationship that you have with her. Everyone goes through unrequited love once in their lifetime. It's not fun, as a matter of fact, it's crap. But we all get through it and learn from it. It's time for you put her first. Love isn't finding the right person, it's being the right person, dear. Let her go. Change jobs and get away from her so that you can start to get over her.
I'm sure that you have many fine qualities and much to offer the girl that you finally do meet and fall in love together with. I think that you should go and sort out all of this with a professional and work through whatever issues you have been worrying about. Loving yourself first, taking care of yourself and making good decisions for yourself are all important in order for you to get through this and become a stronger person. Big Hugs.
...............................
|
