A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm scared of throwing away the best thing that has happened to me but on the other hand I'm not sure if I'm 100 percent committed to this guy. We been together a few years now (not living together), we live a couple hours away from each other. The relationship has been going well, but we have been on a few breaks (all my idea) and I still haven't been able to say those three little words to him. I know that must sound strange but I think I’m afraid of commitment, and I’ve always questioned do I actually love him at all. He has been extremely good to me over the years, very loving, kind, caring, a very solid, trustworthy, genuine guy with morals similar to my own. You could say he ticks all the boxes but I am still an unsure about him (and he knows this)! I’ve had too good I think.I feel really shallow saying this but I think my problem stems from the fact that I’m not attracted to him as much as I would like to be. I don't know if I already have everything I’ll ever need right now and I just don’t know it or am I missing out on a spark.I could write so much more here but I'll leave it at that and appreciate any thoughts you might have.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2010): @ You Wish - previous relationships didn't really last long enough and weren't serious so "love" really hasn't been something I stopped to think until this relationship.
I do enjoy my independence but it is tough being apart, 90 per cent of the time.
Thanks for your sharing your thoughts!
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (4 May 2010):
 I don't think I could advise you without knowing more of the story. Is it that you can't say "I love you" to just him, or have you not been able to say it to anyone? Was there a relationship that really hurt you causing your hesitation?
I will say good for you for not moving in with him!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2010): @ q1605 @ CindyCares @ raiders - Thanks for the feedback guys. It breaks my heart but I've got to face up and make serious decisions.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 May 2010):
 You are not being shallow. We are both physical and spiritual beings and we need to find someone who is compatible at all levels. Same as it is foolish to base a relationship solely upon physical attraction and expect it can work out, so it is imprudent to think that your love will last if it boild down to your admiration and respect for his good qualities.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (4 May 2010):
 He is not your soul mate and you can't force yourself to feel differently. Many times we love who we should not love, and can't fall in-love to whom we should love.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (4 May 2010):
 Umm....i have the feeling that you will jump to a relationship with the next guy you will feel attracted to. Sounds like this relationship lacks passion.Or maybe he's so good that u've taken him for granted.ask yourself how you will feel if he decides to pay less attention to you.Will you breathe or will you start worrying and want ur guy back? if thats the case dont leave him. But if you don't mind his "hypothetical" behavior change...time to find urself a new man.
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