A
female
age
30-35,
*essie32
writes:i posted a previous story about my bf starting to become aggrasive, i followed advice and just let it go.It happened again,last night, this time he did more, wich I hate to accept, Will I ever find a person who loves me without hurting me?He forced himself on me, I clearly told him NO, maybe not loud enough? He didnt beat me up like my previous bf had, but still he had his hand over my mouth, he was "gentle"I was crying him to stop, he didnt. I told him about my previous abusive relationship a couple of months ago, so when he was hurting me he said "atleast I'm being gentle".He wasnt drunk, he was him.This morning he said he was really sorry,he would never do it again he got carried away.I wanna leave him, I just dont know where to go, I am so confused on what to do now.maybe i should just stay and trust him.Idont know what to do....i'm scared of going to bed with him (to sleep in the same bed)I know this is stupid, but I just wanted to tell someone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): You said no. He shut your mouth up with his hand. He 'politely' had sex with you without your consent. I think that is a criminal offence - sorry does not even come close. Get out of there and step away from having a boyfriend for a while so you can gather your feelings and stop going from one boyfriend to another. Just leave.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): He will do it again. "at least I'm being gentle."? Seriously. Leave this guy. Don't tell him where you are going and change your number.
Yes, you will find someone who won't hurt you. Where do you meet these guys?
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A
female
reader, cls1990  +, writes (19 February 2010):
 U have to leave him, he may of been "gentle" this time but what about the next time and the times after that?! If you stay your letting him get away with it.
My mums ex was really sorry the first time it happened, it ended with him locking her in the bedroom, dragging her down the stairs & pushing her round the kitchen floor. She was a wreck. Please don't let this happen to you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): You need to leave for good. Go anywhere else, parents, grandparents, friends, cousins, shelters, churches. Trust me it will happen again. I am speaking from experience. Over time it will only get more aggressive. He's gentile? That does not matter. Clearly he is doing something to you that you do not want. Leave.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): I feel for you, I really do. I am also in a bad situation right now, but I've been married to my husband for several years. He has schizophrenia and was just diagnosed less than a year ago. When he drinks along with his meds he becomes violent. One night he came home drunk and choked me. I really thought he wasn't going to stop, but he did finally. This is not normal for my husband, which is why I've stayed, but he doesn't seem to care enough about what he has been doing to me which is so hurtful.
In your case, I have to suggest that you leave your boyfriend right away. You just can't stay with any one who is willing to force them self on you like that. Think of it like this; he knew exactly what he was doing. You had told him that a previous boyfriend forced himself on you and that should mean that this boyfriend would NEVER dream of putting you through anything similar to that again. He knew exactly what he was doing as he himself put what he was doing in the same category as the rape you previously went through.
It will be so much easier to leave him now than if you continue a relationship with him further. Trust me, you do not want to end up married to someone who hurts you and doesn't want to make you happy. I speak from experience it only gets more complicated and harder as time goes on. Get out now!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): Ok, first of all you should never stick around long enough to let anyone do this to you.. why do you say that you have no where to go? What about your family? Are you living with this guy? Is this the fist time he does this to you? Girlfriend you gotta put priorties and standards for yourself and who you chose to date. You are worthy of better treatment than that.. be strong.. don't let anyone take your will power.
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