A
female
age
30-35,
*dub13
writes:Me and this guy want to have sex for the first time, but I'm scared out of my pants here. He's not a virgin, and I am, and he said he'd take it slow. Honestly, I'm just freaking out thinking about it. I really think he's the right guy for my first time, but I just can't wrap myself around the fact that I'm going to lose my virginity! I don't really know what's stopping me. I don't think it's my conscience; my mind's pretty set. Should be I scared of having sex for the first time? Ah! Freaking out here! Help, please! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, cnith +, writes (10 April 2010):
 If you're that freaked out, you aren't ready. Wait until it feels right. Not because he's pressuring you or because you think you SHOULD do it.
When I lost mine I wasn't nervous at all. I loved him. He loved me. We waited. We were both virgins at the time and it was a night I'll never forget and treasure forever.
The relationship didn't last enough to marry him but I will always treasure what we shared together. I have no regrets of losing my virginity to him.
If I were you, I'd wait. Seriously.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (10 April 2010):
 Everyone is always nervous for their first time but in the end the people I know including my gf who when we had sex she was a virgin and I was not say that its not as big of a deal that its made out to be. Take a little more time to run through everything in your mind without any outsode influences and see where you end up.
If you decide to do it you'll be nervous but that will not last. Just be safe with it and take your time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): If your scared or have doubts dont do it theres a reason why your having them. You should wait till you and a guy are in love. Plus hes not even your boyfriend alot of people could get the wrong idea if they find out cuz guys talk so do alot of girls. What if you got pregnit by him? Condoms can break or leak, His sperm can even get you pregnit by just being around your privite part. Your virginity is special and once you lose it, its gone forever. You may think he's the "right" guy now. But you will probly regret it when you and a guy are madly in love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): I waited until I was out of high school and 18 before I had sex. If I would have had sex young like most of my friends, I'd probably be up to my 25th partner, like most of my friends are. Sex isnt scary. But its gonna make you so much more vulnerable. If you're gonna do it, make sure to have a condom and some lube handy to make it feel better, but the best advice i can give you is to wait.
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