A
male
age
30-35,
*EP
writes:I was watching a jelqing video because I want to make my penis longer and thicker, but the speaker said that too much pulling causes the tendons or ligaments or whatever to become weak which makes an erect penis not stand straight up and be horizontal....I got worried and I started to play with my soft penis so it'd get hard, and when it's hard, it doesn't stand straight up....I'm really scared because the speaker said that having a penis that stands straight up gives a woman more powerful orgasms, and I want to please my future wife so badly, me and my girlfriend are both virgins and we want to wait for marriage, but I'm really really worried that when that day comes that my penis won't give her a powerful orgasm just because it doesn't stand straight up!! please?? someone tell me what I can do!! :( :(
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both virgins, my penis, orgasm Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 November 2011):
 A penis is totally useless for giving most women orgasms. Size does NOT matter in this case...
as for standing UP straight... you mean flat up against your belly..... as you age, drink, smoke, party etc... your errection will no longer be flat up against your belly but will gradually become more straight OUT from your body... and that's OK...
I am sure that the links Tisha provided are great... have not had the time to check them but this is what you need to know..
affection and romance are not limited to the bedroom.
romance her all day long...
kiss her in the morning
kiss her when you get home
hug her just because...
cuddle on the couch...
DAILY... I ran home at lunch to do something and spent 45 minutes cuddled on the couch watching TV with my guy (he works from home).... nice! I doubt we will do anything sexual today but I get my cuddles.... affection is so critical...
FOREPLAY... more critical stuff.
carress her... talk to her about HER orgasms. While you being able to give her one is NICE...truth be told SHE is responsible for her own orgasm... so this means she has to talk to you about what she likes in terms of stimulation... perhaps she likes her clitoris rubbed or licked... circles or up and down... gotta ask... EVERY WOMAN is DIFFERENT...
if she is inexperienced and does not know what to do to have an orgasm oh the fun the two of you can have figuring it out...
and don't forget that AFTER you have orgasmed... (and hopefully so has she)... there's AFTERPLAY... where you cuddle and talk... and just bask in each other.
NOTE there is very little penis to vagina contact in foreplay and afterplay
as for the actual intercourse: experiement with various positions and find which makes her happiest that you like too...
man superior (missionary) is not the best for stimulating women
women supperior either facing towards you or away from you is good... you can stimulate her clit with your hands (or she can)
rear entry (doggy style) gives clit access
scissors (dove tail) is also good and gives great access
again it's all about the skill not the size.
get a copy of The Joy of Sex, Ourbodies Ourselves (a book for women but a good idea for men to read) and maybe an american version of the Kama Sutra....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011): Take it from the ladys' my good man. They know better. A womans' body is like a sophisticated aircraft. You can achieve impressive speeds and aerodynamic feats by knowing how to steer, meanouvre, pressing the right switches, pulling the right levers, reading the data from it's radar screens and bringing it to land superbly. Depending on your penis alone is like starting the aircraft and moving around the runway without ever taking off. Your success in giving maximum sexual satisfaction to your woman will depend on how educated you are concerning her body. So don't be ignorant to the ways of the woman. Begin your training pilot.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 November 2011):
 Quick, flip over on your side! Then to the other side! Then flip over so your back is facing up.
Notice anything?
Yes, that is correct! Your penis is not standing straight up! What a shock! Oh my god!
Seriously, stop watching those videos, they are teaching you nothing that will be helpful in 'giving' your wife an orgasm.
You have fallen into the typical trap of assuming a woman's orgasm is dependent on a penis that is 8.24847563829020474756568983 inches. If it is 8.24847563829020474756568982 inches, then it will fail in giving her an orgasm!
Bull hockey pucks.
If you want to give a woman a powerful orgasm, stop worrying about YOUR anatomy and start learning about hers. Here are some links that may help.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-women-satisfied-with-average-size-penis-or.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-this-size-small-for-a-5-foot.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/whats-right-for-my-partner-in-regards-to.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-theory-is-that-all-men-exaggerate-so.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-much-does-size-matter-to-women.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/does-penis-size-determine-if-a-woman-will.html
And some more:
You're putting a lot of pressure on the her (and you) to expect she HAS to orgasm through penetrative sex alone. Sorry, but the back 2/3 of the vagina has essentially zero pleasure receptors, the front third, some, the most hotwired part of a woman's anatomy is the clitoris. Expecting her to orgasm through vaginal sex alone with no clitoral stimulation is like expecting you to reach orgasm by having your scrotum stimulated while your penis is untouched. How would that work for you?
This is a quote from another website at plannedparenthood.org and I think it applies to this question: "Most women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation. But in most women, the clitoris is positioned in such a way that it is often not stimulated during vaginal intercourse. So in cultures like ours, that place a high value on vaginal intercourse, many women do not receive sufficient clitoral stimulation to bring them to orgasm more quickly, if at all. In most kinds of partnered sex play — manual, body-rubbing, oral, anal, or vaginal — a man's penis is directly stimulated. This is often not true for a woman's clitoris." ( http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/ask-dr-cullins/ask-dr-cullins-sex-5267.htm )
I'm sure you are disappointed that your penis isn't the magic wand for her that you'd like it to be. It's nothing to do with you, it's the anatomy, okay? So don't take it personally.
Another thing to keep in mind is that an unaroused vagina is a lot shorter and 'tighter' than an aroused one. The vagina will balloon back and lubrication will occur making penetration easier.
I want you to do some reading here:
http://www.malehealth.co.uk/userpage1.cfm?item_id=153#moresexy
http://men.webmd.com/features/6-sex-mistakes-men-make
http://men.webmd.com/guide/sex-fact-fiction
So, I think I have some links here which will contribute more to your future wife's sexual pleasure than the videos you seem to think will help.
Stop it! Stop wasting your time on growing your penis and spend it instead on learning about HER anatomy and HER sexual response. Your penis is only a part of what will give her pleasure. It is not the end-all and be-all of her sexual pleasure.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011): Female orgasms don't actually have a whole lot to do with the penis. That probably sounds odd to you since you're a virgin. But it's more about foreplay and stimulating the clitoris. I wouldn't continue to do those exercises though, it sounds like it could cause more harm to you than make you unable to give a female an orgasm. Also, the size of the penis isn't really the important part for a female orgasm either.
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