A
female
age
30-35,
*ragmented
writes:I have been with my wonderful boyfriend for a little over two years now. We started dating when I was a junior in high school and he was a senior. Our first date was perfect. In every way, we were perfect for each other. The first eight months were totally sublime through our rose-colored glasses. However, after eight months, he told me, hesitantly and heaving with tears, that he wasn't a virgin-he'd had sex with his previous girlfriend and her only. She'd cheated on him, had sex with other guys, and didn't let him see his best friends. Of course, this had really screwed him up. He had to go see a counselor because he began cutting himself. It was incredibly difficult for him to tell me this, I know, and terrible for me to hear. I thought he was perfect, and knowing his innocence was destroyed broke me heart. I am still a virgin and I am very protective of myself. I would have to be deeply in love and completely sure of myself and my boyfriend before I ever had sex. I was devastated. Ever since then, things have not been the same. He is always jealous of my guy friends, and I am scared and hurt when he talks to girls he has known for a while or that I think are pretty. We are both very insecure. However, we stay together and he's bought me an engagement ring that we hide from our parents. I wear it when we are alone together. Somehow, in the past year, we have grown apart, from being at two different colleges (they are in towns beside each other, however), from me being an Honors student and him not having a work ethic like I do, and from a lack of a romantic spark. I feel bored and trapped often, but I can never imagine life without him. Often I wonder at who I could find, who I could find a life with instead. I am terrified to leave him. He is so amazing, though; he calls me his angel, he begs me to stay at his apartment,and he's gotten me an engagement ring. What is wrong with me?
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female
reader, fragmented +, writes (5 January 2011):
fragmented is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOf course I love him--that's what makes it so difficult. We've already planned out our future. Somehow, it just doesn't feel right.
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