A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello. This might might be quite long so please bear with me! i was going out with my ex for two and a half years and we broke up a week ago because his family are moving halfway across the world and i know i dont want a long distance relationship and it generally wasnt working, so as you can imagen ive been moping around with tears in my eyes for the past week. Also, college is going so bad for me at the moment and all the people who i thought were freinds arnt being there for me despite knowing what im going through and im just feeling so down and the only thing i wanna do is just go running back to my ex so he can make it all better but i know i cant. I just cant stop thinking about everything weve done over the past two years and i keep thinking the break up was a big mistake. Im scared im never gonna get over him or be able to move on. Does anyone have any advice to get through this or just anything to say to help me feel slightly better? thanks x x x
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broke up, long distance, move on, my ex Reply to this Question Share |
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): hii...well, i wouldn't have said things as harshly as bernard did, because despite what he might think, that's not what you need right now. i do think he has a good point, though. i mean, what makes you soo sure that a long-distance relationship won't work out for you??? there are a lot of horror stories about how those types of relationships are nothing but bad news, but at the same time, there are also some wonderful success stories sprinkled in there, too. why not talk things out with your ex and give it a try?as for the way you're feeling right now, it's perfectly normal. i remember that feeling all too well. in the words of brad paisley, "you feel like there's a knife sticking out of your back, and you're wondering if you'll survive." been there. done that. outgrew the t-shirt and donated it to charity. (i'm hoping that that at least made you laugh or smile a little bit.)really, the best thing that you can do in this situation is just give yourself time. if you don't think you're ready to move on, then don't move on. if you feel like you need to cry, go ahead and cry. if you feel like you need to scream, go ahead and scream. if you feel like you need to punch/claw/break something...well...just don't hurt yourself. (once again, i'm hoping that made you smile or laugh.) think of things that make you happy, and do them as much as you can. i've found music to be a really great way to cope with situations like this. above everything else, though, just trust in God to get you through. while your "friends" might not be there for you, He is someone that you will always be able to count on.it takes time for a broken heart to heal. just let go and let God, and someday (probably when you least expect it, as that's when the really good things always seem to happen), you'll be as good as new. ")good luck, and God bless,~sarsar~
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (12 October 2010):
What you're feeling is natural. There are stages of grief that go along with loss. Most people think they just apply to death, but really any major loss in our lives will often see these stages. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and eventually acceptance.
For what it's worth, it will get easier given some time. I believe that you made the right decision regarding the relationship. It's natural to want the good things back, and that longing can make us forget the perspective that lead us to realize that the relationship wasn't working. Since your friends aren't being helpful, you may want to seek out a councelor at your school to talk to. Often, just talking about your problems with someone makes you feel a bit better. They may have some coping mechanisms you will be able to utilize as well.
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