A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my bf for 8months now and ive totally fallen in love with him. However, he has an ex girlfriend who he broke up with coz he cheated on her (not with me). She moved to a different city for the most part of this year and now she's back to our city. Im in college so i only meet my bf ocassionally like once a month but i only have a month til i finish. So he was telling me on the phone how this ex keeps going to his place in the pretext of seeing his sister who she's friends with, when she actually wants to see him, but that he doesnt care about her anymore and doesnt pay attention to her coz he loves me. I believed him until i went to his facebook inbox. He gave me his password a long time ago but i never went to his account until 2 days ago. So, in his inbox i saw his messages apologising to his ex, asking that they should get back together, writing very sweet stuff and reminding her of the good times they had together. I was very hurt and i didnt know how to handle the situation. I just changed his profile picture to an ugly monkey and he noticed that i had been there so he deleted all his messages. I wanted to act as if nothing has happened until i get home but i failed and i sent him a long message lamenting why he had done such a thing. Since he quit the pleading after he noticed i'd seen his messages, i continued with the pleading on his behalf but the ex was still being a little difficult. But before she could reply to one of the messages, he just wrote one saying its over between them. Now he has deleted all his friends on facebook, saying he joined it because of me anyway. We havent really discussed the issue but I dont know what to think. Does he love me? What if i hadnt discovered the messages, and she gave in, would he have had 2 girlfriends? Im so hurt, but i love him so much i dont want to leave him coz he shows so much love and care to me more than any guy has ever shown to me. Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): If you're afraid that your man would be two-timing without your monitoring him, that's as good of a sign as any I can think of, that you got a lemon. The sooner your realize it and move on, the better it will be for you, sweetie.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Am sorry darling but he cant be showing all that love and care for you to well, because if he was he wouldnt have done this on you. Its clear he is not over his ex and wants her back you to him are second best you need to get rid of him he is no good, he has broke your trust and if you hadnt saw the messages then who knows what he would have done. Its better to get rid of him now than in a couple of years time find out that he is cheating on you, it will only hurt so much more then, tell him you cant forgive this he has broke your trust and shows he doesnt care by doing this avoid all contact with him and stay clear of him until you get over the break up.
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