A
female
age
,
*iggipaws
writes:Hello I am a married woman, I have a wonderful husband who loves me to bits. Unfortunately he has a low sexual libido ( he is 47) and the spark seems to have gone from our relationship. I have tried numerous ways to arouse his interest but very little works and we only make love approx 3 to 4 times a month. We do get on well and have the same interests. Two years ago I met a man whilst walking the dog over the fields, we have built up quite a close friendship. About 14 months ago I realised that I had developed feelings for him. I think that I am obsessed with him as I think of him constantly. I see him everyday and he has even given me a key to his house so that on days when he is working away I can walk his dog. I have tried not seeing him and even hypnosis but this does not help. He is married and I would say his wife is an alcoholic. I suspected that his marriage was loveless, but over the last few weeks he has started confiding more and more in me. He has told me that he is only staying for the sake of his son who is 11 and who he idolises. I think that he has feelings for me but he has never said so. He has been with his wife for 30 years and I think emotionally he is not confident with women. I don’t know what to do. I want to be there for him during this difficult time but I am scared I may do something stupid and make a pass at him, or he may do the same as I know I wouldn’t be able to resist him. Can you give me any advice please?
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alcoholic, libido, married woman, spark Reply to this Question
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male
reader, listening_and_learning  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 Hi Tiggipaws, actually your problem is not all that complex. Don't worry so much. You're attracted to someone other than your husband. Surprise Surprise, especially as hubby isn't fulfulling every marital aspect just now. You say you're worried you "might make a pass at him". So what's the very worst that can happen ? Believe it or not, the Earth won't stop turning. The tides will still come and go. And you'll both have found some piece of happiness in this strange strange world we live in. Is that so bad ? Your worrying merely states that you're a caring person who doesn't want to hurt anyone. Good, but if you stay being unhappy in life via a stagnant marriage, then low and behold, you're making someone unhappy. You. The Universe put this new man and his house and his dog in your path. It make no judgements at all. Just do with it what you will. Be happy while you are able. Life is far too fleeting not to.
A
male
reader, roadman +, writes (5 January 2009):
 Your going to have to seek friendship with someone who will give it to you..If you love the man then hook up some no strings fun,if it tears you both apart then so be it,but your not going to have it all your own way something will have to give..
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