A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost two months and things are as perfect as can be but i am scared that something bad might happen and i dont want that to happen. i often ask myself do i deserve him and i can never answer it because i am so confused. my current boyfriend saved me from a bad relationship that i was in before because i was not happy, and my current boyfriend is my inspiration, like the dream guy that every girl wants. i use to dream about meeting someone like him and i finally did now things are going toooo good and i dont want my emotional side to drive him away so what do i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): I know it's hard, but try not to worry. That is the single best and healthiest thing you can do for your relationship at this point.
My current boyfriend is like you. He's always worried that things will go wrong in our relationship, even when everything is fine. He takes it a step further, though, and has actual anxiety attacks over what seem to me to be very small things. I may say or do something and not give it a second thought because I didn't mean for him to read anything into it. But he does. Then he gets anxious about it and we have to sit down and talk about it, sometimes for hours, so that I can reassure him I still love him and nothing has changed in our relationship. And nothing has. The only thing hurting our relationship, in my opinion, is the way he always worries and questions whether I love him, no matter how much I show it.
I am telling you this so that you see this is not a road you want to go down. The more you worry about ruining things, the more it will show in your actions and the more you will push your partner away. Enjoy what you have and try not to let your worries get the best of you. Your boyfriend is with you because he wants to be; never forget that. Good luck. xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): you are making this a bigger deal then need be. let it go, enjoy this, and also work out your identity/ self esteem issues. let him love you if thats what he wants to do and learn to accept love and love back. you should consider a little bit of therapy, not because theres something wrong with you- not at all. its just nice to have someone who can guide you through any issues that may arise in your relationship and how to make you love yourself better. you sound like someone worthy of all that and more, whether you feel it or not, and i dont need to know you, your words alone express someone who is very caring.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni would like to thank everyone who took the time to answer my question i really appreciate it and u can message me anytime to see how i am doing. thanx and godbless
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A
female
reader, love-struckxo  +, writes (23 May 2009):
 I've been in your shoes before. I started seeing this guy -and things were so perfect. I was afraid I was going to drive him away with my emotional, trust and commitment issues.
So, I talked to him about it, and this is what I think you should do as well. Tell him how you feel about him, and how your afraid your going to loose him, I'm sure he will be the first reassure you that the two of you WILL be okay.
You just need to sit back and relax - and enjoy your guys relationship. I know from experience that feeling insecure about your relationship - does cause problems in it.
It sounds like he really likes you and you really like him. Don't take it for granted, and just be happy!
Good Luck
xx
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (23 May 2009):
 i had that same thing a little while back i couldnt imagine anything different but a year later the love just disapeared and the relationship broke down. we dont control love nor do we control the people we meet. but we choose what we do. just live in the happieness for tomorrow may be a different thing.stop worrying about the little things and enjoy the big things. if life gives you something good hold on to it and enjoy it whilst it lasts and hope the it lasts for forever. nothing is set in stone we just hope each one is the last one but we wont know that until fate or time decides. so as i said i worried too much about it going wrong than i did enjoy it being right you can make it worse doing that so just enjoy what you have and make the most of it. good luck hun aphex xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): just chill. dont change, remember he loved you for who you are, so just keep on doing you. best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): Whatever you do in life, don't think about it too much because if you think about it you'll never do it at all. Its important to just take a back seat, and relax. Enjoy the ride! Maybe one day the relationship might end, nobody knows these things and nobody knows for what reasons they will happen so you have to stop thinking about them and be positive! Just be happy and grateful you have such a wonderful boyfriend and dont take him for granted!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): sounds like you should consider therapy, possibly dbt's. you are expressing concerns that are either real or imagined- which is a sign of borderline personality disorder. i have worked in a therapeutic community. you need to address your self esteem issues and your fears.
its only been two months and you have painted an unrealistic picture of a relationship- you barely have worked into a committed relationship and already are afraid of abandonment and failure. you need to get counseling and take things slow.
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