I'm right in wanting to clear the air and have a spill-all talk?

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been extremely good friends with a guy for about 12 years. He was my first love/crush, but we have never dated- basically per his choice (not mine) although I did agree that we both had to "grow up". I respected his wishes and we stayed CLOSE friends. We lost contact with each other a little when I went to college, although we did see each other every once in a while and chat occasionally. My feelings never changed for him to the point that I have always been relatively sure that he is who I would like to spend the rest of my life with and that if I was patient he would come around. We both have had relationships of our own. I tried to convince myself I was "better off" without him to save myself the agony of wondering and fantasizing etc. He has his flaws, and he has hurt my feelings quite a few times, but yet I still love him. Fast forward to now, usually on my day off I go to his house (he lives with his parents who I have also been friends with for as long). We have never slept together, although we do share a bed as friends. Recently we had a talk about "us"- he has even said that he loves me and always has (but this was after a few drinks). He is now the one leaving to go to school and seems to be distancing himself... while we are still friendly towards each other, it just doesn't seem *right*. I don't know what to do! I understand that I shouldn't "wait" for him, but at the same time, I STILL think that he is the one I would like to spend my life with... and I don't know if I should confront him or just let things take their course, but it is bothering me that suddenly it seems awkward when it NEVER has been before. I'd like to be stubborn and not call him until he calls me... but I don't want to push him away and he leaves in a month. I guess I want to know if I'm right in wanting to clear the air and have a spill-all talk.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010):

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A male reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (20 July 2010):

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