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anonymous
writes:Been with my husband 20 years,we did split up 4 years ago but got back together 2 years ago,thing is he is addicted to fitness,his life revolves around it,from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed.there is no social life in our relationship,no relationship really,we split up before because of this,when we got back together he had changed,but its back to the old ways now.he wants me to tell him all the time how great he looks,doesnt seem to bother with me.i ask to go running with him,so we are doing something together,but he says no,best he goes alone.i havent a life.im beginning to wish i had stayed on my own.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): he's been doing the fitness for about 8 years now,when i got back with him,he was ok,but its started up again this time worse.he looks in all the mirrors or his reflection in windows and tells me how sexy he looks,and puts other men down saying look at him,old and bald.not like him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): I have to ask - Was your husband a fitness fanatic when you first started dating and got married?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): He's going to have to slow down a little and start to realize that when he's in a serious relationship or running a family, it's more important to concentrate on maintaining his build rather than maxing it out.
My oldest brother has been fanatical about exercise and healthy eating since he was 12, and he's absolutely lost now, in life. He has this idea that he's smarter than the average bear, and he acts like a perfectionist, and borderline autistic with other mental problems. This being, he's gotten so used to a routine which allows him such little to no enjoyment each day, that he hates alot, and is very pessimistic, and tries to be fanatical and a perfectionist at only one hobby other than exercising, because it keeps him from going completely crazy.
He argues constantly, and doesn't like to be challenged or called out on his behavior. This hasn't changed yet, and I don't think it will ever change until he quits being so obsessed with limiting his food to only a fanatical diet, and his time to only exercising, sleep and being lazy the rest of the time, and miserable.
He still lives with my parents, and he's almost 40, and he wastes all his money on stupid, useless stuff, rather than being able to support himself.
The other problem with him is he's started getting chest pains alot in the last 2 or 3 years, and now it's progressed to his palms sweating and his hands shaking, and him getting dizzy spells when this happens. He's been recently diagnosed with anxiety problems, and he's getting help from a counsellor. He's admitted he stresses out ALOT, and doesn't know how to handle it, and doesn't admit that his fanatically stupid lifestyle, trying to be a machine instead of a human, is what's caused him to get that out of control, to the point where his body's telling him, "Okay, enough.."
Just recently, my one friend's relative died of a heart attack, and he was extremely fit, and seemed like the calmest guy ever, and never argued with anyone.. Okay, so now that it's too late, did anyone care when he was alive that he was too fit, he worked too many days out of the month, and he held in all his emotions until his body and heart said "screw it, I'm done." That's the grim reality with alot of these fitness extremists, that when they get older, they most likely will have a heart attack from too much stress, or a heart attack from the high cholesterol sterroids have to offer, or they'll have sagging, gross looking skin flabby skin where their huge, buff muscles used to be, or they'll just be wierd and try to be a perfectionist if they live a longer life. Arnold Schwartzenneger had all those results.. really cool 30 years after his prime, isn't it?
To sum it up, unless your husband stops obsessing overworking his heart on a daily basis, his mind will be tired and irritable, and he won't be able to live a normal life with normal people, and help out in a normal family, and that's most likely before his heart finally gives out. Hopefully he decides to change long before that, because no diet or exercise site, brochure or commercial, or gym will ever detail the negative effects of working out too much, too long. There ARE exercises he can do to maintain his great health, but that will also allow for more time with real life and love, and WON'T overwork his heart and mind.
I'm not insinuating he does sterroids, but for anyone who does, I know from all my old friends that did them all the different types of negative outcomes that can occur, on top of the problems with the usually fanaticism, such as your husband, sterroids or not, is encountering. They're socially not living in reality, as all of their time is devoted to themselves, and they don't care who they may hurt or neglect in the process.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): He needs therapy. He is an addict, he isn't going to stop out of the blue. The same way a drug addict won't stop. Its actually not even healthy to work out that much.
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