A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, im 17 and i have a girlfriend who is 16 and we've been together for a year now, we've had lots of foreplay but whenever we've tried to have sex, whenever i've tried to put on a condom on, my erection disappears. i've definately been putting the condom on correctly, ive practiced on a banana and read instructions many times over, but what exactly is making my erection disappear? the thing is i really want to have sex but this happens every time... and now im really worried whether there is something is wrong with me, and every time it happens i feel even more under pressure and fear failure
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condom, erection, foreplay Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker  +, writes (7 November 2008):
 First, stop worrying about it.
Second - well, you're 17? And so you're masturbating regularly, right?
Try stopping the masturbation - and I don't mean stop it altogether, just for a day or maybe a couple of days before you're likely to be having sex. It could make all the difference.
And yes, I KNOW that to stop masturbating when you've got a wonderful girl on your mind is a bit like telling a starving man not to eat anything when there's a plate of food in front of him - but, to continue with the same metaphor, you need to save yourself for the banquet! If you're not as hungry, you won't be able to enjoy the feast as much...
A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (7 November 2008):
 Hello,
Blackroses sums it all up perfectly. It's simply the pause in the moment and you are not alone with this. I've seen lovely strong bananas turn into little tiddlers during this act of putting the condom on. One tip...buy extra condoms and try putting them on regularly in private, have pleasure on your own, get familiar with them. good luck, xxxx
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A
female
reader, blackroses2989  +, writes (7 November 2008):
 Oh! Honey, its totally not you, I can tell you that right now. Lots of men have this problem. It has nothing to do with you putting on the condom correctly (although that does help lmao, jk) What effects you is the break of time and that putting on a condom isnt so arousing. Most men get flaccid when putting on condoms. There are many things that can help you however. You may have tried a few of them. Try ot have your girl friend stimulate you while putting on the condom, she doesnt have to be stroking you, she can be touching other places as well. Another option is a "cock ring." You could put that on you, before you put the condom on. The purpose of a "cock ring" is to trap the blood in your erection, so it stays in your penis, therefore it keeps you from going soft. If you still have trouble with condoms, there are other options such as female condoms (though I believe them to be much harder to put on) or your gf could get on birth control. Keep in mind though that bc doesnt pervent stds, it only helps to pervent pregnancy and like ondoms arent always 100% effective, though it is highly effective. (usually 98.9 percent effective)Anyways I hope that helps you, if you still have questions about it and cant find answers go to talksexwithsue.com You should be able to have your question answered there. good luck to u honey! And please do not feel like youve failed, you HAVENT. If your g/f loves you she will agree with that too. anywho goodluck.
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