A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm worried I may have screwed things up with a guy I just started seeing. See, I started talking to this guy on a dating site a couple of weeks ago. He seemed really nice (unlike a lot of guys on dating sites!) and we seemed to really click. Anyway, he asked me to meet him last Tuesday night, so we met for a drink at a bar. It went absolutely perfectly and though it was just a couple of quick drinks, we really hit it off. After he dropped me home he texted to say he thought I was gorgeous and he'd really love to see me again. Because he does a bit of bar work, he didn't have many nights free, so he asked me out again the following night - we went to dinner and a movie, he was completely lovely, and it was a really great date. After that, he said he might have work on Saturday night, but would text me if he didn't so we could do something (he was working thurs and fri). Anyway, turns out he was working on Saturday, but I went to a party and then ended up going into town with some people I had only just met (my friends didn't come), and of course their first choice of club was the one where he was working!The club he works at has lot's of little areas, so I didn't see him at first, but we spotted each other later and I went over to the bar he was working at to say hi... he seemed pleased to see me, told me I looked really nice, and wasn't busy at all so I stayed round to chat. Well then the people I was with said they were going somewhere else, and looking back I should probably have gone with them, but decided to hang out with.. let's call him "Matt" for longer, as was hoping he would finish soon. I was kind of drunk so probably not making the best decisions! Then I met some people at the bar who bought me drinks, so I ended up hanging around even longer.. after a couple of hours I started saying I should be going home, and Matt said when I'm home, he'll give me a text when he is finished (which wasn't going to be for another couple of hours)... I went home, but ended up falling asleep straight away, and slept through him texting to see if I was still awake. The next day I felt terrible, wondered if I had hung around TOO much, and this might have made me appear desperate, and too available ( he is a really nice guy so doubt he would've actually told me if he didn't want me to be there). I texted him to say "sorry for being distracting to your work last night:) Hope the rest of your night went well".. he texted back but totally ignored my little apology, just saying something like "It wasn't bad, just off for a skate now :)" and then I haven't heard back from him since... though it's only Monday now, I'm really worried I may have blown my chances!! Do you think I am over thinking this and it's not that bad, should I text him or wait?? I just don't know where to go from here!
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 Wait, wait...WAIT. Let him contact you.
You had two good dates and he seemed interested. If he saw something in you to ask you out twice, I doubt he'll be turned off by your little Sat night performance. I don't think it's anything bad by the way.
But for now, let it go. You texted him, you apologized and that's great. Perhaps he didn't feel the need to say 'it's ok' etc. Don't overanalyze and don't text again.
Rest assured that if he is actually interested he will call/text to ask you out again. Letting him do it will show to you how keen he is...and that's always great for someone who tends to overthink and analyze things...it saves you all the does he like me, etc questions. If it takes him longer than a few days, he's probably cooled off.
So be patient...show him you're not desperate and have other things to do. If he's keen for another date, he'll be in touch :)
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