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female
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*ummyduckling
writes:hey guys im 16 and my boyfriends 16 and hes joing the army in september and im really worried about him getting hurt i havent slept for almost 2 weeks and when i do finaly doze off i have horrific nightmares about his death and i have to watch it over and over again. can anyone offer some advice as to how i can make these nightmares stop?????? any form of advice would be helpfull to me thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Hey, i cant really give you any advice. ive known my boyfriend for a year and we recently started dating. He is 20 and going to Kuwait in June,08 so, yeah i know how you feel. its super scary. I think about. im sitting here in school worrying about getting the next grade when he is fighting for his life.. But the thing is.. You need to be there to support him and stand at his side..He needs you!! My b/f has told me on many occations that this is wat he lives for. and for me to be at his side gives him more strength to get home saftly. So girly. dont fret over this as much. spend you precious time together. ANd cherish them. have friends and family there wit you for the support
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007): Hi my name is lydia and i am going through the same situation as you are right now. but i have only been going through this for about 2 days where i cant sleep what i try to do to get over the fact that he is going into the army is i spend alot more time with my friends and it usually takes my mind off of it for awhile. The only thing that i can truely tell you to do is to spend as much time with him as you can before he leaves. You are fortunate enough to still want to try to make things work between you and him while he is gone. In my case my boyfriend thinks that it would be best for us to not be together so that it wouldnt hurt as much when he does leave, because he will be gone for about couple years. It wont be easy to make yor relationship work with him leaving but if you really love each other you can make it work.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): HI i have had the same thing 2 but its my ex boyfriend thats going in but i am still really worried i know its not as bad as your situation but he best thing to do is try not 2 worry about it i know that is easier said than done
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (20 July 2006):
 Your boyfriend wouldn't have to be in the Army to get hurt or killed, you know. Not to put more stress on your weary brain or anything, but almost any accident could deprive you of his company, so you really need to stop worrying that this is going to be the end of him and put things in perspective.
As the female soldier said (1st answer), the Army is safer than you think! This isn't like WWII, where thousands of men were sent out to run headlong into enemy fire. Though war zones aren't safe places to be, the Army doesn't want to risk the life of any single soldier, so they give their men and women great training in self-protection, and lots of support from their buddies. Everybody wants to survive and the statistics for coming home safe and well are really very good.
So the first thing you do is take deep breaths and accept that he's made a choice that puts him at risk, but there are risks everywhere else too. He's going to want to come home to you, so he'll take good care of himself.
The next thing you do is find a way to empty your mind of your fears. For some people it might be a blog or journal. Maybe physical activity like a hard run, or a weight workout will help take your mind off it. Other people might find peace in prayer to their gods, or in meditation. You might try yoga to help you relax.
Whatever you turn to, you need to focus on calming yourself. Read up on some progressive relaxation techniques to use before bedtime (google it - there's lots of good info online), and while you're doing that, imagine yourself having pleasant, happy dreams. Your mind is amazingly elastic, and you can actually "tell" yourself to have happy dreams if you learn the techniques.
Be realistic and accept that there are some things you can't change. Try to deal with the source of your stress in a way that works for you, and if one method doesn't do it, try another.
Good luck!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2006): Hi, ive been in the army nearly seven years, my family fealt the same then as they do now, its a job. ive seen colleagues geting killed, however, he will not be able to go anywhere now until he is 19. there really is no need to worry, you should be proud of him, offer him the support hes going to need through training as it gets quite demanding. he will need you more as time goes on. im married with one child and one on the way, my wife always worries, but i know because of my training and attitude, i will survive anything that happens. just relax a wee bit and enjoy the time oyu have both got together.
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (19 July 2006):
 Well I think you have taken a good first step by getting your fears out in the open here. However, you may want to talk to somebody closer how you are feeling. You also need to do things to relax before you sleep, not just activities but maybe see if can burn scented candles or oils.
If this doesnt work then you really need to think about seeing your doctor because the lack of sleep will be making you feel alot worse ontop of your fears about your b/f. Hope that helps. Take care.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2006): Hi I am a 23 year old female and I have been in the army for 6 years and touch wood nothing as happend to me and I have been to Iraq and all the other good places the army like to send people. I am sure your boyfriend will be truly fine, and he will have the time off his life in the army. Be happy for him... The army is alot safer than you think!
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