A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey I don't like to think I'm the jealous type but since i've been with my new girlfriend i've been getting really jealous when she goes out with her girl mate, I wouldn't be bothered if I lived near her and seen her often but I don't get to see her a lot since my Uni is over 100 miles away from her. I like to think its all innocent but she completely ignores my texts for ages when she's out with her and she always talks about her, it's so annoying but I don't want to mention anything to her because it'll sound controlling if I say he can't see her mates Thanks
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 June 2012):
 Maybe she is going out with me :).
I can't stand people who live chained to their cell phones, and I think ( I KNOW actually ) it's extremely rude to engange in text conversations with person A when you are out with person, or persons, B. If you want to talk to A, stay home and talk to A. If you go out, your attention should be, as much as possible, on the people you are out with. Within reason, of course. Everybody needs to check their phone every now and then, everybody have got a demanding boss or an older parent or an ailing relative etc.etc. that may require our immediate attention. But, if all you got is a clingy bf who wants to keep tabs on you to be constantly reassured that you are not French kissing the bartender... eh no dear, not good enough for me - if you want to hang out with me, you'll learn to keep yr bf under control and your private exchange of effusions for later ,when you are at home. Otherwise, sorry but I won't come out with you. It's too distracting and unnerving having to interrupt the flow of conversation, or repeat a joke twice etc., because you ( or bf ) need to " stay connected " all night ,like a baby to his pacifier.
So , not only it's most probaly all innocent, but you also have a well mannered , mature gf, congratulations:)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 June 2012):
 she's not making up excuses... she's with her friend let her have her fun and she'll get back to you when she's done with her friend...
what is it about her going out with her friend that's the problem... because clearly you are upset about that...
I mean why does she have to be tethered to you 24/7...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): so_very_confused, its not that she doesn't reply to my texts cos its in her purse or whatever, she always checks her phone, it's never out of her hand and replies quick to me and everyone else apart from when she's with her mate. So of course its going to hurt me when she makes shit excuses up why she hasn't replied to my texts.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 June 2012):
telling someone how you feel is not controlling. she can make her own choice what to do.
"honey, i want you to know that when I send you a text and you don't answer for a few hours I feel hurt and neglected"
and she replies:
"I'm sorry, I don't mean for you to feel that way, I don't always hear my phone and I don't do it on purpose"
and you can say:
"I know and I'm sorry I'm being such a baby but do you think you could check it a bit more often when you're out with your friends, I worry about you and want to make sure you are ok..."
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (21 June 2012):
 Well you have a choice.
You either need to learn to have trust in her and be secure that she wont cheat and get past this and understand that she has to have friends and some times people do talk about there friends a lot.
Or you can tell her how you feel and tell her you dont want her to stop seeing her but maybe just text back a bit more and hope she isnt upset or takes offence.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2012): No i havent mentioned it to her because I don't want her to feel like I'm controlling her and accusing her of cheating
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 June 2012):
have you told her that it bothers you when you don't hear back from her for hours?
Personally I think folks demand and expect too much attention to texts... we no longer wait for things.
If I am busy and my phone is in my purse and I don't hear it or see it I may not know I have a call or a text... My fiance got worried one night about me when I had not responded to him... and I was FINE...
100 miles away is about a 2 hour trip how often do you see each other.
LDRs are hard
LDRS for young people are even harder...
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