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female
,
anonymous
writes: How do you break up with someone you've dated for 2.5 years?I don't like the way he treats me. When he gets upset about something, it's his way or the highway, and I'm a rug when it comes to that stuff. I'm completely defenseless because I don't want to make it a bigger deal than it has already become. So everything is bypassed, and I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to end it with him. The only reason I've really stayed with him this whole time is because I love his family, and I don't want them to be disappointed. They've been so into us "getting married" and all this stuff, and I think they'd be upset if we broke up, but I think sooner is better than later, and it's late enough. Please give me some ideas.
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female
reader, wookiee's girlfriend +, writes (27 February 2006):
 splitting up after an argument isn't the best way so talking it over is problably best, even if it ends in an argument. 2.5 years is kind of a short time to think about marraige, so his family can't have been too serious about it. just tell him why you want to end it and he might be reasonable about it.
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (27 February 2006):
 You have made the right decision, if the relationship is not working for you and you feel it has come to the end then finishing it is the right thing to do.
You say the only reason you have not done so sooner is his family well you would not be doing them any favours if you married there son then divorced him so like you say the sooner you do it the better.
How is the tricky part, it is better to work out the practical stuff like who leaves the house, dividing up of money any thing like that first before you tell him so that when he is ranting, raving and crying you can just go or do what it is you have planned.
There is no right or wrong time to tell someone you no longer love them or want to be with them so just do it as soon as you feel you can, a saturday morning may be good as then he and you have the whole weekend to work through the practical stuff and at least be a little calmer for work on the monday.
Explain to his family that you have appreciated all the support they have given you over the years, explain to him that you feel the two of you have grown apart and you have fallen out of love with him.
Do your best to be gentle but firm, you have made up your mind and so no false hope, mixed messages or second chances.
Once you have told him, the hardest part is over.
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