A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm ready to get married emotionally, physically and financially but my bf for 2 years not yet ready. first issue when we're together is our religion I'm an INC member [mod note: see https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iglesia_ni_Cristo ] and his a catholic, we settle this through respecting each other and this time he needs to have a doctrine to be an INC member for us to get married and suddenly he told me that he was so pressured and there are times that he want's to let me go.honestly I want to get married coz I didn't see myself to be with another man except for him and I wanted to have a baby as soon as possible I'm already 31 I'm afraid that having a baby of this age is less a chance bcoz of my age.Should I be paranoid or just being calm waiting for Him to get ready, but what about my age the fact I'm already 31 and He's 29 Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2016): Huh. I read about that church and it sounds like that church and the catholic church aren’t aligned. In order to marry you he’d have to drop his church and follow a bunch of rules of your church. Why don’t you drop your church and adopt his to make it super easy for him to decide if you are the one for him or not?
If church dogma is the wedge then not likely you two wind up together
If it’s that you want to get married and have babies now and he’s not ready that’s another thing
Guess you’ll have to sort out the choices
why not drop your church, accept his and see what happens?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 July 2016):
 You want to convert him !, how's this " respecting each other " !? It would be respectful if you agreed to disagree about religious matters, and each one let the other practice his religion in liberty, without judgements or manipulations.
Anyway- how do you figure this would work in practice ? You are aware that in INC, members of the Church are ONLY to marry other INC members ( and that's why you want him indoctrinated ).
Are you also aware that in the eyes of the Catholic Church INC, is not even a religion but a cult ? Or at best an eresy of Christianity ? And that he could never get from his Bishop the licence he needs if he wants to contract an interfaith marriage that can be valid according to HIS Church ?
You could work around this obstacle if he were , as many Catholics are nowadays ( I should know, I live in Italy ) just nominally Catholic, but actually agnostic. If he does not particularly care about doing things traditionally , or having his wedding celebrated in a Church- easy. You just go to city hall and have your wedding legally registered.
That could work for him though, - but not for you. You STILL are supposed to marry only someone from your own faith.
As you see, so far I haven't even touched on the subject that he does not seem ready to marry, and in fact he is having doubts on the relationship itself. Which, does not look too promising.
My point is : even if he were anxious to get ready tomorrow, - how would you do in practice , unless he accepts to convert ? Did he SAY that he wants to convert ? Did he even consider it so far ?
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (15 July 2016):
 The thing about being different religions is not converting the other. If he has to semi-convert f fully convert to marry you, that's not fair. Also, having children is harder because you have to talk a lot beforehand about how you'll raise them: Catholic, INC or none.
I don't know how this will work between you, so it's best to figure it out together, with an in-depth conversation, as soon as possible - so you can both move on if it won't work out.
...............................
|
