A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Long story short, I might be in love with my coworker. He's cute, fun, nice, very tall, well-spoken, well-read, intelligent (this is, of course, my unbiased totally clinical assessment).We don't really work together but we have a fun (completely non-flirtatious) time and I know he likes speaking to me, at least. Now, the problem/ problems: he has a girlfriend - actually been in and out of a few relationships; I am not his type at all - we're very different people; most importantly (and this I say with a heavy heart) he's not attracted to me at all. So, what should I do? There're obviously things I can or can't do within my workplace, but I want to hear any and all suggestions. I don't want to like him or think about him all the time and find ways to speak to him and feel happy when he obviously enjoys speaking to me (and has that smile on his face) and then sad when I see him leave work early and I know he's meeting her. Agh! Help please!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2015): You're mature and intelligent enough to know it is futile to want what you can't have. He's taken. He's in and out of relationships (red-flag); and you're not his type. To put icing on the proverbial cake...he works where you do. It's the worst idea to date or make love-connections where you work. So get that out of your head.
He's being polite, that's all. You're making more out of it than it really is.
You've built fantasies around him and you're idolizing him.
That's what's making it so difficult to get him out of your mind. Don't place any man up on a pedestal. If you need to worship, find religion. If you're lonely, get out and meet people.
Focus on what you're supposed to be focused on while on the clock.
YOUR JOB!
If you don't work in the same department, keep things cordial, professional, and distant. You're obviously flirting, that's inappropriate. Both professionally, and because he has a girlfriend.
Get out and socialize to make yourself available. You're single and not making effort to seek available men. Instead, you're fishing in a barrel. Checking out guys at work; because you don't have to use your interpersonal skills to break the ice, and meet single men outside your work-place. You really need to get out more.
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