A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently found out that I’m about 7 weeks pregnant. I haven’t told my husband because I don’t know how he would react. He Lost his job because of this pandemic. My sister in law has also been trying for a baby for many years and I don’t know how to tell her about my pregnancy. Advice me please. Thank you
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (14 June 2020):
 I think you are going to have to tell your husband you are pregnant sooner rather than later.
Marriage is built on trust, and you not telling him that you are 7 week's pregnant is not good. Its better he finds out by you being honest and telling him, rather than him finding out another way.
I know there may be financial difficulties due to your husband loosing his job due to the pandemic, but this is still not a good enough reason to not tell him he is going to be a father.
By withholding big things like this is a huge weight for someone to carry on their shoulders. When we are open and honest we feel much better in ourselves and this weight is lifted from us.
Tell your husband this news and just let the chips fall where they may. What ever happens at least you can hold your head up high knowing you were honest and did the right thing.
The same goes for your sister in law really, its a shame that she has been trying for so long, but still no reason to keep it from her, i'm sure she will be over the moon for you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2020): You didn't get pregnant by yourself alone he also played part in it, so why should he not accept it? Tell him first and let him inform the rest of his family. Like the others have already said it soon is going to show on you. Nothing to be ashamed of. Good luck. I hope your sil gets it too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2020): I can understand your worry about the financial pressure of expecting a child and your husband having lost his job, and he might be worried about that, but you can't keep a pregnancy secret from him. Unless you have genuine concerns due to anger/violence issues - in which case now is the time to leave, for the sake of you and your baby. But if this is simply breaking the news when he's having a stressful time just remember you didn't make this baby on your own, you're both married to each other and have jointly created this little life - so once the news sinks in for him you will both have to be proactive in trying to find him a job. If you're still working, you'll at least be entitled to maternity leave and pay and there's still many months ahead before your baby will be born - so try not to worry too much, even a job as a carer or in a supermarket might crop up and I'd personally take what I could in this current pandemic to keep the bills paid!
As for your sister in law, it's really kind that you want to be considerate, I wouldn't know exactly how to announce it but I think it's fair to say internally she will of course be devastated it's not her announcing her own pregnancy, and she may find it a raw reminder of her own struggles. But equally, you are now growing a baby and that can be an exciting time for you - you are allowed to share your happiness and I'm certain because of your initial thoughts being how to tell her I can't imagine you'll do it in a way that isn't kind and considerate towards her. She might want to be involved lots, or she might want to keep a but of distance while she processes her own feelings and I'd just want to tell her that you're very much there for her, and that she can be open and honest about her feelings with no judgement from you.
The upcoming months will likely be filled with ups and downs, but please, if you have no concerns in your relationship tell your husband ASAP so he can process this pregnancy and you can support each other. He may well want to be the one who tells his sister too, taking that worry away from you. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (12 June 2020):
 How long do you think you can keep it from your husband? Are you afraid of his reaction? Is he prone to being violent? If not, then tell him as soon as possible. This child has two parents with equal rights to know about it. The sooner he knows, the longer you will have to plan for its arrival. This is not something which will go away just because you choose to not tell anyone.
If you are afraid your husband may turn violent, then perhaps you need to have a family member or close friend with you when you tell him. Perhaps you need to get away from him. It's all "perhaps perhaps perhaps" because you don't really give us much information on which we can base our advice.
As regards your SIL, don't be apologetic or secretive about the pregnancy. It is not your fault she has been trying unsuccessfully for a baby of her own. Perhaps you could ask her to be the baby's godmother so that she feels like she has an involvement?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2020): Eventually you're going to show. Why would you keep a pregnancy from the father? Please explain what you'd do if he was upset about it. The pandemic is happening all over the world; and everyone is affected one-way or another. Your husband's job-loss is not the result of your pregnancy; and it's odd you'd assume he'd be unhappy about it. If you need help and financial-assistance; research and seek assistance from any available sources you can find, until you're back on your feet.
Your sister-in-law trying to get pregnant is irrelevant. You don't hide pregnancies unless your intent is to terminate the pregnancy. Is that your intention? Then your husband has a right to know; and that should be a joint-decision in a marriage.
You seem to view the pregnancy as an obstacle or inconvenience. You are jumping to conclusions and upsetting yourself with no facts to support any of it. Why wouldn't your sister-in-law be happy for you? Who cares if she isn't? Your husband is responsible for the fact you are pregnant; so losing his job is incidental. He will just have to find another one. Maybe it's just the hormones, but you shouldn't upset or worry yourself.
If you want your baby, don't assume nobody else does but you. Is your husband a kind and loving man? If he isn't, then maybe this is a good time to make some life-decisions. Your sister-in-law doesn't figure into any of this in any way. How are you responsible for her fertility issues? Are you suppose to postpone getting pregnant until she does? Don't be silly! Come-on now!
Calm down, my dear! This will all workout. Tell your husband, and take it from there.
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