A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was with my boyfriend for 8 months, when after not hearing from him for 5 days and having his phone turned off i decided to go round to his flat and find out if he was alright, when i went to his flat i found out that he had moved out and had not left a address to where i could contact him,i then went to where he works and learnt from the girl in accounts that my boyfriend had given in his notice four weeks ago to the boss but had not told anybody that he was leaving, i spoke to my boyfriends boss who told me the worst thing i wanted to hear, that my boyfriend had gone back to his ex wife of six years, as she could not cope with looking after their 2 kids, he also told me that he did not even tell his family that he was going back to his ex wife, i am with somebody new and have been going out with him for nearly 7 months and thought that everything was alright between us. Last month my boyfriend said that he was going to read a book for 1 hour and then he told me that he had something important to ask me " i thought that he was going to ask me to marry him", after 1 hour my boyfriend got a letter from his briefcase and threw it at me in a rage, yelling at me that somebody had wrote a letter to him telling him that i was still in love with my ex boyfriend and had started to see him again as he had returned to the area to see friends, i tried telling him that was not true, but he did not want to listen to me and told me that we were over there and then and threw me out of his house into the street yelling at me that he did not want to see me again, i have since found out that i am pregnant, and went to see my boyfriend to tell him, and his reply was that its my ex boyfriends baby and that i should go after him about it, how do i prove that my boyfriend is the father as he says he will not have a dna test when the baby is born as he is not the father, and this would be wasting his time, how do i get him to pay for the baby when its born.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): Dear Poster
I have empathy with you; it must be very difficult dealing with all these emotions and I am sure it must be hurting; but as it seems obvious that he has moved on and almost "abandoned" you and your unborn baby it is best that you wait until your baby is born and then insist on a paternity test. I am not sure in your country, but I do believe if you contact a lawyer or even your local social services they will be able to give you advice as to how to proceed to claim maintenance from him.
In SA women can approach the maintenance court for an application and if he refuses to pay because of paternity, the court will insist on a paternity test.
Maybe if you call the social services they will advice you or if you phone the magistrate court in your area, maybe they can tell you where and how you can do a claim.
Something to keep in mind when submitting a claim for maintenance is to not just claim for the child, but to claim for the period before the child was born, your medical expenses etc; you should be entitled to get some compensation from him towards your maternity expenses.
Hope this is of some assistance.
Keep us posted.
Best wishes, lots of hugs and SMILES.
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