A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm playing guitar and singing in a folk night tonight, and my on-off-ex said he's down in town, and invited me out for a meal, and said he'd see me in the pub. The thing is, I feel really uncomfortable about him being there when I play. It's so 'complicated' between us and I feel I won't be able to relax and play well. Also I want to socialise without the night being dominated by him.So I sent a text saying:'It's OK I'm eating here thank you. I'd actually feel more comfortable going to the folk night on my own.....sorry x'And he rang up and said he had every right to go, it's his local for 25 years.... etc and then sent a text saying, 'I'm very sorry you feel that way. least when you are in w...... you will not have to see me. take care. x'Now he says I should overcome my fears and come down. I think he's being disrespectful of my feelings - do you think so or am I over reacting?Thank!
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (18 April 2013):
 I think you have every right to the message you sent. I know how you would feel. If he can't respect that and give you space, it's more of his issue.
I can understand how you would feel, totally. Maybe you do need to overcome your fears, but in your time and on your terms. If he's your on/off person, then you really don't have to answer to him. Answer for yourself.
I recently was going through a confirmation process and wanted my "friend" to be there. Then I fretted about all the activities and wished I hadn't invited him. Luckily for me he asked if I would mind if he didn't attend. At first I was upset but then I felt fortunate that I didn't have to worry about his "good time, etc" during my stressful event. It doesn't mean I don't care about him, just means I wanted my space.
A
male
reader, WhiteRabbit1031 +, writes (18 April 2013):
Hey ur def not over reacting he needs to respect ur boundaries. U were polite n he replied with a guilt trip dont fall for it. He is obviously ur ex for a reason n the only reason why people stay in an on off relationship is for comfort n fear of losing that person. U shouldn't feel bad about wanting ur own space. My advice move on n live ur life. If he does show up just take a deep breath n look out over top of the crowds heads n play ur heart out. I play too n sing acoustic rock music so i can relate. Good luck tonight hope u set the stage on fire. Always remember life is too short to settle for second best.
...............................
|
