A
female
age
30-35,
*aash
writes:Hi, I'm Taylor* 20, smart, high ranking job. I have a boyfriend, Adam* 20, smart, high ranking job. We are madly in love, we first met when we were 14, more mature than most our age, we had a moment, nothing physical, both slightly not sure what to do with ourselves. I moved away not long after, and that night never left my mind. I have known for the past 6 years he's my "one". At the start of this year, the ever so useful Facebook re-introduced us. We've met up, fallen head over heels the past two months. He re-assures me he's thought about me everyday for the past 6 years. He pretty much lives at my house, (I had just recently moved out again, he just recently moved home) we spend every moment we're not at work together. Nothing has ever made me happier than he does. He's amazing and I know he feels the sane about me. We have a very honest relationship. We've decided, that as soon as financially possible for us, that we will be running away together... Never have I been more clear on what I want in life. We're both giving up our pride and joys "our cars :p" and our jobs, our family and our friends just to be together. We both believe his sister (18) would be more than happy about it, his mum would be, probably not at first. We think his dad (here's the tricky stuff, his dad is my grandmothers brother) wouldn't be to happy about it. My grandmother has approximately 2-3 weeks maximum to live (secondary breast/bone/lung/brain cancer). My mother already believes that I'm a humiliation to the family as I have tattoos, mostly the huge thigh piece I have acquired. I have no doubt she would disown me, maybe come around to it eventually, I personally think she'd be more embarrassed about it than mad or angry...My dad I barely see, I wouldn't tell him. He and I use the names above as guises from our families, and to each other. I know Adam* would drop the world for me, every night we research, and search to find where we want to "runaway" too. My theory is, if my best friend can accept us, (34, divorced, man, best friend I've ever had) with no qualms, and asks me to bring Adam* around when I come over... Will anyone else be accepting as him, he tells me I need to relax about it. It's hard, my family on the south side, his on the north... We have to go hours away in order to be us, with no one asking or knowing a thing. I'd love to hear all advice!! :)
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 February 2011):
 You both are adults , with high ranking jobs... why do you have to run away ? why can't you simply move in together ? or get married ?
You say your family will disown you - but if they really do ( I doubt it ) they can disown you from a distance too, and the distance would make it harder eventually healing your rift.
Btw why are you sure you'd be disowned? If his dad is your grandmother's brother, then your bf is cousin of one of your parents, - which makes your relationship perhaps a bit quirky but not incestuous or illegal.
A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (28 February 2011):
If you know how your parents are going to react I don't know why you think running away is a good idea. What would you gain from running away? It strikes me that you would be losing an awful lot in order to make a big gesture, when it isn't really necessary. You even say that you think his mum will come round to the idea. You are both 20 with good jobs, so why don't you rent/buy a place together. I am at a loss why you think you have to run away in order to do this if you are currently able to support yourself independently. You say your mum will disown you, but what will change on that front if you run away? Won't it just make it worse? If you run away together then everyone will know you are together and form their opinions without you there to justify what you've done. Just get a place together without giving up your lives and stick around to hear what people have got to say. Why does it matter if you love each other that much? And why don't you want people to know or ask anything? As soon as you run off that's all people will be doing.From what you have said it doesn't sound as though your relationship is forbidden, or you will be in danger if you see each other openly. You say his sister will be happy about it. Running away won't solve anything.
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