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*irene
writes: hello, i'm writing because I've been so sad and heartbroken over someone, and I just can't seem to let go of him. It was a hard, on again off again relationship that lasted two years. He broke my heart over and over...he had intimacy issues, commitment issues, and he was never able to be the boyfriend that I so wanted. Now it's been about a year since we broke up. I know that there is someone who will be better for me out there. I know that I deserve better, and that I deserve to be happy. I eventually cut contact with this person 6 months ago, and every time I feel like I'm moving forward, I somehow get pulled back in...he is a beautiful poet and romantic, and he wrote one e-mail over the summer that got me thinking romantic thoughts about him again. I unfortunately called him yesterday, seeking some kind of closure. He told me i should move on, and that even after all this time, he still has the same unanswered questions about me, still loves me, but he wants me to move and be happy. I can desire to move on as much as I want, I have tried....but I feel like my heart just won't comply with me. I feel like although I may meet someone who will be better to me, will I ever meet someone with whom I feel so deeply connected? I feel so hopeless now that I'll ever find the kind of love I'm looking for...and I certainly won't while i'm pining away for him. Please let me know, how can I really, truly, let him go....??thanks for any advice or similar stories.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (30 September 2006):
 I've been in your situation before, just as you seem to be moving on it's as if they sense it and do or say something to pull you back in til your hooked again then they throw you back out there, its heartbreaking everytime and you need to tell him that for you to move on he needs to cut contact with you aswell as you with him.
This is going to be hard for you but you know yourself you can't continue like this and he probably isn't going to change especially not all the time you've made it easy for him to keep messing with your feelings.
Good luck :o)
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (30 September 2006):
 Well, i think part of the problem here is that although he is saying he wants you to move on hes not exactly helping you if he is writing romantic emails. This is one of those questions that is highly personal because the answer is basically it depends on how easy you find it to form those type of connections. A fair bit also depends on the willingness to let go of this one; it can be true that how you are treated sometimes doesnt matter, you simply dont want to let go because life feels lonely without that connection.
I think it is completely true that there is more than one person who you can have this with, although the number is probably limited or else it would be impossible to explain how people often love more than once in there life. I think the thing that you have to remember is that next time will be different because each connection is unique. Different but by the sounds of it most likely better. Hope that helps. Take care.
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