A
female
age
30-35,
*erenBach
writes:hey i no this may seem strange but neways, i need 2 tell some1. um well truth is im scared of lads (im a girl btw) every time i talk to 1 i get soooo nervous n start to shake. this happens to the ones i dont like. im a wreck wen i see or talk to the 1 i like. ive never had a proper bf. there r no male role models or family in my life. ive had some bad experiences which i guess caused it. im 16 n all my mates have bf's who dote on them. i cant even look them in the eye. physically touching them makes me wanna b sick. as 4 kissing n sex im pertified. i really need help. but i dont no how or where to go etc. i got some good girl mates who look after me. but they dont really know the true extent of it. i have no1 i can really talk to n confide in. im worried i'll be like this 4ever. help me pls ... xx thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): If it can reassure you, it wont always be like this. I think it is important to remember that not everyone is ready to go out with someone at 16, some girls (and boys too) need more time, so thinking about kissing and sex is may be too early for you and you would be better setting your mind on making friendships instead, this can help you grow more confident in talking to boys. Your body is telling you you are not ready (feel sick and shake) so don't push yourself. I am sure one day it will tell you when it is ready for affection and closeness with a boy.If you find that the bad experiences you have had and the lack of family/male role model in your life are really affecting you then you could talk to someone about it (there's people out there who specialise in talking to teenagers, helping them with their isssues and it is for free). Resolving those issues will help you become more confident as a person and one day you'll be able to talk to boys without being scared or shaking.
A
male
reader, dodgeman +, writes (6 November 2007):
Your 16. everybody gets worried when they chat to the opposite sex, of whom they like. Im 20 and have been seeing my girlfriend for 11 months, but i can't express my emotions(i find it really difficult). But when she tells me that she loves me i find it hard to say those three words, But of course i do love her millions.
As for seeing other boys dote on females. I feel the same, all the smoochy stuff leave to eb private. I dont mind the kiss on the cheek or hug in public.
But dont be scared of sharing a kiss or having sex. You are sixteen, dont rush those things. when you have met someone u like and you can trust then share those things with them.
I hope this helps,
Dodgeman :-)
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