A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just got out of a abusive relationship and all my past relationships were either abusive physically or emotionally or both, my question is how do I stop currently having sex with my boss who is married. I used to always say no but I finally gave in and said yes and now we have sex when we work together. I am wrong and I know that I am and I feel horrible to be selfish and cruel to be having sex with someone who is married but I have sex with him because I know he wont beat me or rape me. And the other men I can have sex with are abusive or on drugs or alcoholics I am afraid that I will eventually get caught. HELP ME PLEASE, I dont to be selfish or end up caught up.
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affair, alcoholic, drugs, my boss Reply to this Question
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male
reader, twistedelm +, writes (10 August 2009):
Dear Ms-Let me get this straight: You are having an affair with a married man; your Boss? If you tell him to stop; he will fire you from your job? If this is true; there are a few things you could do. 1) After he has sex with you; go to the nearest hospital and be checked out sexually. The object here is to have some proof on paper that a man had sex with you. 2) Or after work some day look up in the yellow pages and find yourself a "therapist" and tell him/her all about you relationship with your Boss. (Sometimes certain places offer these services for a very low price or for free; so dont be affraid to try them.) Again; the object here is to get your proof on paper. If you tell somebody else with your boss present he will just say that isnt so/ he might think he has all the control and power and can do anything he wants? If you try to get out of you situation; you need to have some patience and be a little more clever than your boss-but dont tell your Boss you are doing anything. It sounds as if your Boss is taking advantage of you in a BIG way. The only other way to get out of it is to quit your job and get another. I hope this helps.
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (10 August 2009):
 You need to stop this affair and you know you do, just try to explain to him that you feel guilty about his wife, and you don't think you should have sex anymore.
Also you seem to have a pattern with abusive partners, which obviously would effect anyone's self esteem.
Try spending some time by yourself, spend some time on you and make yourself happy, when you next move into a relationship take it slow, don't have sex right away go one step at a time, any guy worth having will wait for you to be ready.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): I am not going to judge you , as what you are doing is understandable . You are looking for love and emotional stability because you have been a victim of abuse .
You are not comfortable with this relationship with your boss . Look for a new job and a fresh start . Secondly , you deserve a man who appreciates you for who you are . There are genuine caring guys out there ....your choice of men is affected by your self - esteem and lack of it .
Talk to someone professionally via your Doctor , and talk about your suffering . It is time to move on slowly , though it will be hard . You will find happiness ...truly you will when you have self- worth . Good Luck
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