A
female
age
26-29,
*ewbie31
writes:Hey guys and gals, haven't needed advice for a while.I'm fifteen. A guy in my gym class is a junior, eighteen, but shoudl've been a senior this year. There is a mentally challenged kid that isn't so bad that he is separate from other kids. He gets teased alot. One day the guy, Josh, helped encourage the slow kid, Jon, to put away volleyball nets. This act of kindness warmed my heart. So I found Josh's facebook and messaged him thanking him for his good deed. We got messaging back and forth and he seems like a sweet guy. Our, and his first date ever, was the Saturday after school. It was nice because he was respectful. The more I get to know him, the more I find out that he's been living an underprivelaged life. He's never had strawberries before, never seen a 3D movie, can't swim, has never lived in anything but a trailer and has never dated. I'm from a middleclass family where money is tight, but we can squeeze in a movie or a bite out. I'm an open person so I accept him, but I don't know what else to talk about because of all these things he's never done and can't comprehend. Again, I'm 15 and he's 18. Being really shy and awkward means he won't rush a relationship. The question is, do I want one? I'm open to love, but am cynical about highschool relationships. My best friend lost her virginity to a scumbag senior and is completely mesmerized by him still. That's not for me, I don't start things when I know they come to an end. But then again, it would be practice for real life. I would date him, but him being so cutoff from the world, im afraid he'll get too attached. His mom was basically trying to marry him off to me in front of my mom. an important factor is that im going to summer camp a few states away for two months. I just know when I get back that he will have been waiting for my return. I told him I want to start as friends before it goes anywhere, and he said he understood. Yet the next time we hung out he took my hand. I didn't know what else to do except let him hold it and try to find an excuse to pull my hand away nicely. I don't know what I'm asking for here, only that you will read and digest this situation. Maybe give me feedback and any advice at all. Thanks for your time.
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male
reader, elwhy +, writes (16 June 2011):
Haha yeah that is a big jump and I would be freaked out too. Go slow and get to know him more. like MissTellAll said, "Have some self respect"
And you shouldn't tie yourself down. You are in high school and you should be able to experience every moment of it..
Good luck! :)
A
female
reader, Newbie31 +, writes (16 June 2011):
Newbie31 is verified as being by the original poster of the question MissTellAll, thanks for the advice. I am going to give him space because im leaving for a two month summer camp. The problem I face is that he will waiting for me to get back. He has no life besides playing video games and doing nothing. 18 without a license or a job. I do want those highschool sweetheart memories, just not with him.
Elwhy, I'm attracted to his personality and a little by his looks but im not fully committed to have a full relationship as a sophmore. I'm freaked out because after our first date I met his mother with my mom and they were talking about marriage and babies. I don't want to tie myself down before I even get started.
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A
male
reader, elwhy +, writes (15 June 2011):
Hmmm it's nice to see someone that is unique compared to other guys.This guy never had a relationship, but you find him very attractive.Well don't rush into the relationship; Get to know him more. If it is hard to pull a conversation with him.. Then this is a perfect chance to get to know him more. Talk about the things he likes or the things he is interested in... Encourage him to talk about himself and to be open with you. And encourage yourself to ask him questions. Like his hobbies, school, his dreams, future, favorite color.Then after getting to know him encourage him in other activities that you guys might like. such as: watching a movie, having lunch or dinner together.Or if money is tight, then you can always spend time together without spending money such as: walk around the neighborhood, walk in the park, or even just sitting outside your house talking is a great activity.I hope this helps :)
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (15 June 2011):
 It doesn't seem like you're very 'into' him, which is fine and something you can't help.
Being cynical about high school relationships can be beneficial, but it can also hurt you. You could give up the chance at having nice memories with some, but that's clearly up to you. Good for you in not hopping all over every guy you meet. Keep your self respect and happiness on the top of your list of priorities.
As for the guy well, being that you seem uninterested, I'd cut off the contact just a little. Let yourself grow distant from each other so his infatuation fades.
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